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age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: My friend and I have been drifting apart since last year. It started with her leaving me for a new group of friends, accusing me of being jealous of her having new friends, but in the end she would apologize. Even though she did, she still acted like she didn't want to be around me and things were weird. Well, I was still there for her, listening to her crying over guys, friends, hard times, etc. Well, she finally woke up and smelled the coffee earlier this year and started to be there for me, but I was busy with grad school so I couldn't talk as much. Her clingy-ness also kept me away too, but I just sort of gave up on her because she wasn't there for me last year. I also felt that she just used me when she was upset and needed someone to talk to- then forgot about me when she was having fun. We hung out a few weeks ago and she seemed upset- she looked like a poor sick puppy that just needed some support. I gave her a hug and talked with her. We were suppose to meet up again, then she canceled and we didn't talk for one month because she thought I was mad at her. I swallowed my pride and wrote her last week, apologizing for being busy and not calling. A few e-mails later, I have apologized twice and she finally gave in, suggesting we meet next week. Is there a way to make things better? Should we talk about this awkwardness and try to reach an understanding? Or should we just see how it goes and if we can salvage what is left of our friendship? I don't want to lose her, but I feel like I am the one doing all of the apologizing, when she is just as guilty but won't admit to it.
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female
reader, Lola1  +, writes (18 September 2009):
 She won't ever apologize if she thinks you will do it for her. But if you choose not to apologize, you have to realize that she isn't "big" enough to do it either.
I suggest you ask yourself WHY you want to be friends with her.
Maybe you will see you can get it elsewhere and it will help clear your mind and help you decide whether or not she is worth your time and energy. Envision your life without her. Would it be a bad thing? Or would it not matter at all?
Do not remain friends out of misguided loyalty. Be a good friend to you, and invest your energies where they are deserved.
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