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anonymous
writes: Dear cupidI recently cheated on my girlfriend of four years! For a while she went through a state of depression. She had been cheated on in every relationship before me, and i was supposed to be diffrent! I dated the girl I cheated on her with, while she started to do her own thing. We have talked about getting back together but she refuses to think about the future. She says that when you plan for the furture, it always fails. All this has been going on while we have been living together. I would like to know why she is thinking like this and if there is aything that I can do to maybe fix this situation. I know why I cheated and we have talked about it plenty of times. She just seems like a diffrent person! Please help me! We havent move from each other cause our lease isnt up till august! Can we save us?
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male
reader, sendmeanemail10  +, writes (16 April 2010):
i to have just cheated on my girl and was arrested for it because the girl i kissed and gave hickies is telling everyone i raped her and she is only 16. this has got to be one of the hardest things iv ever done and i regret it down to the center of my bones. i was drunk when it happened and she was sobber. my girlfreind is also 16 and she is the greatest thing that ever happened to me but i see now the only thing to do is let her talk her way threw it at you and give her time. just be available and every once in a while let her know your still their and she will come to you.
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 April 2009): I can tell you now that being the one who's been cheated on and then being the one who's done it can never be the same i only know because after 6 years and 2 kids i did it to my ex-Boyfriend and he was the one that had cheated on me the bad part he forgave me but could never for give my self because i never wanted to be the reason for his pain even if he did it to me it was wrong and you cant take it back and she may or maynot ever forgive you but you live and learn and change from what happens from today into what happens tomorrow ...
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2007): my boyfriend cheated on me last night and i walked in. in our own house! i am in so much agony and pain. i just feel like dying. My advice is don't evr do it again and when ever she feels like yelling at you let her. i don't know what i am going to do or how i will get over it. Just know that when you cheat you really are killing some one inside. my heart aches for myself an anyone who has to go through this. Why!!!!!!!!!!!
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reader, Devil's Advocate +, writes (24 February 2005):
 It sounds like you've really ballsed this one up matey.What was the reason you cheated? Is there something in her psyche in that she pushes men to do this. If she's expecting it she just might push the buttons to make you do it. If that is the case, then it should have been up to you to reassure her that you wouldn't do that, AND NOT DO IT!It's highly unlikely that there's anything you can say that will convince her of your sincerity.Trust is earned and you have betrayed her. The best you can hope glean from this relationship is the knowledge that cheating can only screw up relationships. You need to grow up and maybe one day you will be able to have an honest and trustworthy relationship.
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 February 2005): Hi,The reason she says things like planning for the future always ends up failing, is cuz if its happened more than once you end up thinking something is wrong with you, and you always have the feeling that if you let yourself get too comfortable with things something always seems to be just around the corner to spoil it.She has put her trust in too many people and has been let down, its very hard to trust anyone or relax in a relationship, when you have been cheated on. I have been cheated on once, and i felt like that, so imagine how it must feel for her.If you want to put things right, then you will have to earn her trust, and that could take quite a while. But if you love her you will have to learn to be patient.Whether you can fix this is down to the 2 of you, if you have talked about it, then maybe you can. But it will really need some work. Put yourself in her shoes and ask yourself how you would feel if she had cheated on you.
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