A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Ok so Im 15, and ive been watching porn and masturbating since the 5th grade, and was a virgin until this day. I finally found a girl who really likes me, so we go to an area and fool around. I was hard while during the foreplay, but when she began ridin me, i couldnt get hard anymore. I have a pretty large penis, and it was embarrassing i couldnt show her it. I came home after getting her off 3 times, to see if i could get off to porn and i could..What is wrong with me????
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 July 2008): Troubletoomuch has given you some very good advice, I would suggest you take it on board.
There's nothing wrong with you, what your feeling is perfectly normal. Please do not have sex with this girl, you are too young. The problem with porn is that it is a fantasy and some people don't realise. In real life the penis goes soft, the woman smells, she kisses funny or she can change her mind. She could have been holding you too close and it didn't feel comfortable, she could have tired you out, things could have gone to fast for you. Only in fantasy is sex absolutely perfect each and every time. It is normal for young men to look at porn (if they can find some legally) it is also alright to have fantasies and masterbate. Don't let people who hate sex convince you any different. The only time you have an addiction to porn or masterbation is when you find that it's all you want to do, and you'd prefer to look at it than go out with friends, be with your girlfriend or do your homework or chores. Be carefull with your girlfriend, it is s;dp your responsiblity to make sure she dosen't have sex, or get pregnant, or do things that she feels uncomfortable with that makes her ashamed.
Also I would suggest you avoid looking at that web site npsupport.net the people that recommend it always remain anonymous, we're not sure who they are. I think they are trying to convince everyone to convert to their beliefs, they might be part of a strange religious sect or cult, we really don't know. I searched the site myself, it was full of men who were in agony, they were in agony because they were married to controlling demanding wives. These men were in agony because their wive's were heartbroken rather than them having a problem with porn. This web site won't help you, I wouldn't even bother to look.
Take things slow, it's not a rush, it's not a competition to be a sexual expert. There is so much to be done durring foreplay, kissing, cuddling and other business, take your time and slow down, and things should be alright.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 July 2008): Quote: "This is common for porn-viewers... excessive viewing of porn can make "vanilla" sex seem pretty dull."
That is a crock. It is not "common" for porn viewers to have this problem. Perhaps you were addicted to porn and watched it for hours a day, in which case you had a serious problem and I can see your point. However, most porn viewers look at it perhaps 2 or 3 days a week for maybe half and hour each time, sometimes with their partners. If you were unable to control yourself then I can understand why you had to give it up, but most men and women have the ability to control their "hobbies". Certainly masturbating 5 or 6 times a day will desensitize the penis, but once or twice a day is not a problem and is actually healthful when not able to engage in sex.
Porn is like most things. It is not a problem if done in moderation and the person can control how much they do it. It is a serious problem if the person does not have enough control over their emotions and watches it excessively or does it at the exclusion of real sex and other daily responsibilities. If he/she does it at the exclusion of sex and affection with their partner, then they need help. It sounds to me like you were one of those persons.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 July 2008): This is common for porn-viewers... excessive viewing of porn can make "vanilla" sex seem pretty dull. I'm a guy and I had a similar problem (couldn't get hard with my gf) so I stopped watching porn and after a couple of weeks I was able to perform again! I haven't watched it since and my sex life is 1000x better... try it, and if it doesn't work then maybe theres a different problem.
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 July 2008): There was probably nothing wrong with you except that you were nervous about your first time. This even happens sometimes to men much older than you when they are with a new partner. This happened to me when I was with my first partner after my divorce from my first wife and I was 34. It never happened again unless I had too much to drink.
Don’t listen to the scary garbage that the anonymous female is trying to spew. Read npsupport.net if you like, but just know that masturbation is normal and healthy for men. I have looked at porn since I was about 18 and it has not caused a problem for me and I am now 63. This anonymous female just hates porn and men and has repeated her garbage time and time again on this board. She is just trying a new scare ploy since everyone now knows that the old “it will make you go blind” story was just a lie. She has a sick agenda and should be very ashamed for trying to scare a young person into thinking that he has ruined his sexuality to promote her own sickness.
Don’t let this problem on your first time worry you. It happens to a lot of men their first time and some when they are with any new partner.
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A
male
reader, Uncle Sneaker  +, writes (6 July 2008):
 It's nothing to do with the porn. It's simply that with masturbation you do it "perfectly" for you. You put pressure on exactly the right places, go as fast as you like or as slow as you like. Sex with a woman doesn't work like that.
When you are actually old enough to have sex (which is an important point, but wasn't what you were asking so I won't dwell on it right now), I suggest that you try avoiding masturbation for a few days before having sex. Also, once you start filling your thoughts with real women instead of those on the porn sites, you'll find that helps too.
The other issue, which isn't too popular among many younsgters, is that sex works very much better with someone you feel very deeply about. If you are having minor erectile problems having casual sex with someone, it doesn't entirely surprise me. I would guess that many young men have that problem. If and when you do it with someone you love, someone who fills your thoughts with nothing but love and desire, any problems will vanish. Not only that, you spend time, lots of time, getting to know each other's bodies and what works for the two of you and what doesn't. Casual sex isn't about that. It's another mindset altogether, and one that really isn't an experience that comes close to being even half as good as sex with someone you really love properly.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 July 2008): I don't as a rule post anonymously,but in this case I'll do just that,so that I can be more open with you,and others who can and need this Info. Lets look at Masturbation it's perfectly normal and also healthy for either gender. So is the viewing of Porn. Hey! I'm 80,years young and I view Porn,and "Yes" even jack-off now and then while watching it. When you get up there in years,Well the old tool just seems to have a stubborn mind of its own. And you either can't get it up or can't keep it up long enough to please a woman's Joy-Toy,her vagina. I'll bet that when you masturbate to the Porn, you see just how fast that you can come, have your ejaculation. Right? I have a suggestion for you But not without good reason. When you see how fast that you can come,what you are doing is teaching your penis to come PDQ. And when you get into penile-vaginal-intercourse with your G/F, Your penis like a Good-Fellow will do what you have been teaching it to do while you're Masturbating. So to get an erection,if your G/F is helping you to become erect,like most women,they are too gentle stroking a man's penis. Show her how it should be done,after all you are the expert when it comes to you own masturbation. You need to prolong your erected penis once it becomes hard,then you'll have something to work with within her Joy-BOX. There is a "Start-And-Stop-Method", Whereby you bring yourself,with masturbation,as close to an ejaculation as possible, but you stop just short of that ejaculation. You need to do this at least "six-times" during each of your masturbation-sessions. The longer that you can prolong the ejaculations the stronger your orgasms will be. Do hope this has been helpful to you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 July 2008): Although you are not old enough to post on this board, I would suggest you take a visit there and read stories of men who's lives were severly affected by porn : npsupport.net
People used to think smoking was harmless, gambling wasn't addicting and in this day and age people want to think there is no negative affect to watching porn. This couldn't be further from the truth AND from every indication, the younger you start to look at porn, the higher risk you are at developing problems from using it.
It can even cause Erectile Dysfunction. For those who don't believe it, I suggest you ask the men on the board that found out first hand (no pun intended).
If you do not want to destroy your sexuality, and yes, you may have just witnessed this, read some of the men's agony and their wive's heartbreak on the self-help board, it will open your eyes.
It could be a fluke, you may have been nervous, but you could also be conditioning your mind to respond only to mental stimualtion and not react to the physical :-(
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A
female
reader, lotus mama808 +, writes (6 July 2008):
 Nothing. Nothing is wrong with you. A huge percentage of the worlds population masterbate to porn, welcome to the club. You were not able to perform because you were nervous. You are a virgin, and the nervousness will effect the sex, not the porn. That is totally normal, and healthy. Be sure and wear protection, please (during sex, that is). You don't want to get stuck with an STD or a baby. Listen to aunty, be a good boy, for yourself!
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