A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Im beginning to feel really bad about myself. I've been dating my boyfriend for a whike now and I love him in all but sometimes he hurts my feelings. I just started working I got my 1st job working for starbucks, I make about $150 a week after taxes but I work really hard but my nf makes like $800 a week pluss the extra he makes working overtime(which is all the time so imagine how much more he makes). Obviously I can't afford a lot of things like he can. Everytime we go out he pays for food, movies..etc. I hate that though but he doesn't like taking money from me. But the thing is that he tends to throw my "my chump change" in my face. He'll say things like I don't wanna take your money you can't afford.... that really hurts me. Today he took me out and we were having a great time till dinner. I ws broke cz I deposited my check but it didn't clear yet so I have to wait till wednesday for the money to be there. I had sixty dollars but I used it to do my hair(he asked me to) buy a shirt and my weekly metro for work, at the end of the day I was left with 3 dollars to my name. At dinner he asked me if I had money and I said no. Then he had a smirk on his face. It was that smirk like...she's always broke etc. He made me feel bad I didn't even wanna eat anymore then he started yelling at me etc and made me feel worst. Im tired of feeling so poor.
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female
reader, KEY2URHEART32 +, writes (6 July 2008):
You are just getting started in life sweet heart...honestly this guy sounds like a real jerk with arrogance. It also sounds like there may be an age difference btw. the two of you due to the amount of money you say he brings home. Any way if a man honestly respect and care for you it should not matter what amount you bring home. You have a honest job and work for your money and you are not waiting on the government to send you a check. That alone is commendable. Don't allow this man to make you feel bad about yourself and/or your job. You wont be there all of your life...if you have goals and dreams you will move up in life...and depending on what they are you may actually someday make more than this guy. I learned a long time ago that men like this are weak underneath their exterior and that they get off making others feel bad because they really don't like themselves. If this man does not change this is not a relationship that you will want to stay in...He is a thief...he will rob you of your self-esteem...and your goals. You are way too young to go through this crap...find the strength and the courage to move on...and I can almost guarantee you that you will come out on top.
A
female
reader, happytochat  +, writes (6 July 2008):
Darling, there is nothing to be ashamed of not making heaps of money!!!
You could be the richest person in the world, with 7 cars, a flashy boat, a house in each state and so on...but money does not buy relationships, health or love.
I think your bf should be more supportive of you and he SHOULD NOT be bragging about how much money he makes or make you feel bad for not having much.
I assume you might be at school considering your age?
You must realise that it is not ok for your bf to yell at you and so on like you said he did. Its not ok for him to make you feel bad about yourself either, especially for such a petty reason of not having much money. Is he honestly that materalistic? if so then i think you would be better off without him.
You need to sit down with your bf and explain how you feel. Explain that you feel bad when he mentions how much money you make and you dont like it how he talks about how he earns so much. Explain that you will not accept his behaviour of yelling at you and making you feel bad about yourself.
Hopefully your bf can understand your feelings and he will change. If he does not, then its honestly time to find a bf who will respect you and not value you based on how much money you earn.
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