A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Here's the thing. My boyfriend and I have been together for a little over a year. Both having experience horrible relationships in the past, we took it very slow to start, but were both ver afraid of being hurt again, so he ended it, hoping that we could still be friends, but given the strong feelings that we had for eachother, we ended up dating again. I should probably mention that he is very close with my family and even lives with my brother. My brother, thinking that he was trying to use me just for sex, ended up flipping out and they wound up fist fighting over it until my man came out and said that he really wanted to be with me so, back into the relationship we go. Low and behold, three weeks later it was over again.One month later, he showed up at my door telling me that he wanted to be with me and that he wouldn't be scared anymore and I think it was true because we have been stabvle for 6 months now.The problem is, I realized that I'm in love with him and now I'm freaking out. I keep thinking about ending this before I get hurt again and running for the hills. I can't tell him how I feel because I'm horrified at the realization myself. I don't know what to do. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Kieron  +, writes (1 May 2008):
It is always hard when you have been hurt before, but if you both love each other and cant bare to be away then there seems little point in running. In our lives we all do things that make us scared but most of the time if you confront your fears then you realise that they are unfounded and often not as bad as you have made them to be in your head. Ask yourself one question. What scares you more. The thought of being with him and maybe getting hurt, or never having him in your life again? follow your heart not your head these feelings will pass.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 May 2008): I really feel for you dear and understand what you must be going through, you're right to freak out and in order for you to conquer this demon, there are 3 questions you must ask yourself and be honest in your answers as they are the keys to solving your dilemma.WHAT ARE YOU REALLY SCARED OF? IS IT THAT YOU WILL END UP HEARTBROKEN ONCE AGAINIS IT YOUR BOYFRIENDS INABILITY TO LET GO OF HIS FEARSARE YOU SURE OF HIS LOVE FOR YOU?If you are able to answer the above questions truthfully, then trust me, it becomes easy cos not only will you identify your main source of fear, but you'll be able to ultimately deal with it.one last piece of advice, Like every other thing in life, love takes risks and it knows no boundaries, let go of your fears and if it does happen that it doesn't work out, you can put it down to another one of life's experience, you're still young and you have your entire life ahead of you.Don't allow fear rule your life, hold you back or rob you of happiness, be willing to step out on faith dear.I wish you all the best and hope it all works out for you, goodluck.........................
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