A
male
age
30-35,
*milian
writes:Hey There! I like what I read here and I just seek help, that is all.I'm with my girl friend from 2 years, and we had a pretty nice starts "but I guess every start is a nice start. She has really similar interests to me, and I really enjoyed every single second with her. I love her to bits, she says she loves me too.2-3 months ago she told me she was depressed for the last couple of months (almost the entire relation ship), and is really disappointed in me for not noticing.I swear, we were doing the things we loved to do with each other the most. You see, I love video games and aim to becoming a game developer. Also I play on steam, and I introduced her to a gaming platform with chat messaging and games on it and bought her a few games on it in the beginning. She was happy, and we played together. After some time I introduced her to my best friends and she then added them as friends and started talking with everybody, all was well.When I ask her why was she depressed, she said that she was hurt by the facts that sometimes, when she wrote me, I didn't respond immediately, and most of the times for a couple of weeks I couldn't play with her because I had important project to work on. Also I was jealous because she started being "too connected, to one of my best friends" month after month. She also said that she doesn't care about anything anymore, and that she just wants to have fun. I mean, I am 21 years old, and she is 19, I don't understand why.. When I asked her about the other guys she got really angry and defensive, and told me that she loves me and is with me, and they are just friends. When we talked after she told me she was depressed and disappointed for these last couple of months, she said she changed because of it. She said that before she wanted to be with me all the time, she wanted to play with me all the time, and share her moments with me, but now she wants space, and doesn't want to even chat with me online, or play games with me. She chats with the guy "who was my friend before", all the time online and plays games with him. When I ask to chat or play with her, she says that "we were together all day, and that she needs her space to do her stuff online. (we were together all day).Ok, this all might sound childish because I mentioned video games a lot, but they were like a bond to us in the beginning, but then, I guess I was to occupied to respond to her and play with her, that she got dissapointed. I really understood this and changed for the better, but now she says that she needs her space and doesn't want to be with me all day, and then with me online. I am really worried because I, as a jealous type, don't trust her on this guy that she plays with. I've even seen him messaging her on the phone, with stuff like "hows my bunny" and stuff like that, I asked her what the hell, and she said that they are joking with each other, "because she had a bunny, that the other guy thinks it looks like her, and makes fun of her for that", and nothing more.I talked to her again these days, and when I bring that guy up, she gets really mad again, blaming me for making her mood bad. We go out a lot, and she says she loves me, but most of the times she is cold to me, she doesn't even say she loves me if I don't say it, and when we are not together, online, she barely writes me or calls me. Can you please help me on what to do? I I think this might be too much too read for almost all of you great people, for which I'm sorry. Thanks for any advices in advance. Thank you so much.
View related questions:
best friend, depressed, jealous, video games Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Emilian +, writes (19 September 2011):
Emilian is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you so much for the detailed responses.Yesterday I attacked that guy online (because they were playing online and chatting again and ignroing me), telling him to back off because he's been spewing my relationship for +year, and I'm sick of him. Unfortunately he's in another town from ours. He then logged off, and my GF yelled at me in a very rude way, that I've been "Messing in her stuff".I immediately wanted to see her out side, and I asked her. She was very, very rude to me online, but out side we talked, and I just said I wanna sort things out. She said that she wants her space, and that she didn't want to chat/play with me for a reason (she wants her space), because we were all day together. You see, Months ago, I didn't play with her a lot, and didn't talk with her a lot online, I was working hours in the day on various projects, but we still gone out a lot, and I thought she was happy. Maybe that's why she doesn't want know, because I didn't do it every time she wanted before. She even said last month that she doesn't even want to proceed and develop her hobbies/interests into jobs. Studying? No. She said she just want to have fun, and that I make her "fun" go away when I talk to her about "my feelings"...I looked her in the eyes and told her I love her with all my heart, and he yelled "OKAY!", "stop with the dramatic stuff". I asked What the hell? Why dramatic? - "Because I look her in the eyes and tell her to it". I then asked her, and told her that I just want the truth, does she want to be with me, does she has feelings to me, I waited for an answer and I got an immediate yes, I love you.Still don't get what am I doing wrong. Thank you for the replies, really great to see someone make a hole in the black wall I am facing.
A
female
reader, UnstoppableHips  +, writes (19 September 2011):
 Okay you should open your eyes and see what's going on behind your back...I mean if a girl really loves her bf, she always tells him i love you and not in a cold way.If a girl loves his bf, even if they were together all the day, she will never get tired of talking to him...I mean in one sentence she's ignoring you for another guy and that's not good...
In my opinion, you should sit and talk to her about your relationship with her. Ask her if she still really loves you and if she wants to continue it with you...
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 September 2011): Hell, your girlfriend has all the classic signs of depression.She is:- tired- her mood changes (happy then suddenly sad)- angry and annoyed at you for no reason- feeling lonely- feeling bored- has no motivationThis is not your fault. She said you were ignoring her, you changed and talked to her more, but she doesnt want to talk to you. This is because depression makes people want to hide inside themselves, and not socialize. She is talking to that other guy to make you jealous, and because she doesnt want your help at this time in feeling better.I suggest telling your girlfriend that you care about her, and suggest her to see a doctor. Medicine will help stabilize her moods.
...............................
|
