A
female
age
36-40,
*onfuzzled_in_cville
writes:so it's my 5 year anniversary. I've been hesitant about this date because i secretly knew what would happen but wanted to be hopeful and think he would sweep me off my feet. well that didn't happen and he's very blah about it. Nothing said. I asked him if we were going to do anything special. He's got the nerve to say 'well theres nothing to do'. O_o when we first met we had no cars, no allowences, just my couch and we were fine. he made me gifts, talked to me, and was very affectionate. I wanted to exchange gifts but it seems he put no thought into today like he said he would. I'm so dissapointed and angry I don't know what to do. he knows i expected better of him today atleast. He doesn't treat me special at all and i expect something on significant times of the year but nothing. Is there any way to salvage this momentous occasion besides me sulking and him doing nothing?
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 September 2008): Sounds like you had your expectations up really high. Maybe he's just coincidently having a bad day??
You know, over time, things won't be as romantically charged. Especially after five years. I know after being with my guy 10+ years, neither one of us wants to make too big of a deal out of things like this anymore, we realize we would rather make a bigger deal out of the little things EVERYDAY - not just on anniversaries, b-day's, holidays, etc. It's really just a day sweetie. A special one no less, but if everything else is wonderful most of the time - where it really matters, don't give him a future reason to loathe a day that is special. Just kiss him and wish him a happy one. Peace....
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 September 2008): "Is there any way to salvage this momentous occasion besides me sulking and him doing nothing?"
Umm ... That wouldn't really "salvage" anything, according to any definition I can imagine.
Look, what are you upset about? You want your bf to do things/be things/ and (apparently) want things that he doesn't seem inclined to do/be/want on his own. You indicate in your post that he knows what you wanted. I'm confident that's true. What you're looking for is how to MAKE him do what you want.
Can't be done. Give it up. This is who he is. He knows what you want, and he's not up to it. Maybe his reasons are valid; maybe they aren't. Doesn't really matter. At this point, the best thing you can do is stop whining about it, see him and your relationship for what they are, right now, and accept that they are what they are. Then decide whether there's something you want to do about it. (As in, do you want to let go of your romantic notions about anniversaries, or do you want to find a bf who will fulfill them?)
Stop throwing a tantrum.
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