A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Can someone, please help me understand the male mind. I am at the end of my tether.I have been seeing a guy since the end of July and things were going well. After five weeks he told me he loved me. I thought it was a bit soon but nice to hear. Btw we are having sex- have since, date three. Anyway, we saw each other some more since then and I finally plucked up the courage to ask where the relationship was going. And said 'what do you want to be?' and I said 'a couple' and he said ' I didn't expect that'. What was he expecting? He said he loved me? was he just saying it? or did he mean it? If he did mean it, then why is he now not answering my texts? Is he thinking about it? It is his birthday today and I saw him Monday and he was being like a kid and wanted a card and birthday present. His actions that have been affectionate do not add up with his behaviour now. Please give me your honest answers. Thanks.
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female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (20 September 2012):
 Unless I've missed something we've been given very few words and actions to compare. The only confusion you have, from what I understood, was his surprise at hearing you wanted to be a couple. Is this correct?
Since you thought it was too early to declare love when he did, I'm guessing you didn't declare yours. That probably left him with the impression you weren't in any hurry to be a couple. Naturally he'd be surprised to learn that you've since changed your mind.
I don't see anything to be concerned about here. Was there more to it?
A
female
reader, lmao1989 +, writes (20 September 2012):
 Maybe he is afraid of being committed maybe he does love you but didn't want to be tied down as he's afraid that if it is too good he'll lose it all.
Have you tried asking him why he reacted like that?
you need to ask him why he went all quiet on you after all he told you he loved you.
There must be something there just it is holding him back.
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