A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I currently find myself in a predicament. Just before Christmas I was with a guy (A) whom I was falling for. It transpired he had just finished in the armed forces and was trying to adjust himself to ‘normal’ life. Unfortunately he found it slightly more difficult than he imagined and ended up disappearing for a couple of months. After getting over him disappearing without a word, I found myself with another guy (B). We took things slowly and I explained the situation with (A). Although I like (B); we get on well and enjoy each other’s company, there just isn’t the same spark there was with (A).(A) has recently got back in touch; with legitimate reasons as to why he vanished. I now find myself in a relationship that I’m not sure is right with (B) , I care for him, but it’s not what I was looking for. With (A) now back in the picture I could try again with him, but then risk him vanishing again. I guess I’m just after some views, maybe from people who’ve been through similar, maybe just an outsiders opinion. Thanks for taking the time to read this.
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 June 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI'm not with B because there's no one better; he's a good guy as I said, and we get on very well. It sounds very immature, but if A wasn't back in the picture then i'd have no doubts about being with B. Putting it like that it seems such a simple choice, but feelings are never that simple. Thank you for your advice
A
male
reader, TimmD  +, writes (4 June 2010):
 Well, I suggest looking at each man as an independent issue. First, with guy B - if you're not sure about your relationship with him than break it off with him. Or at least try slowing things down. Tell him you want to see other people. Don't just stay with him because you have nobody else. If guy A wasn't back would you stay with B just for the sake of it?
I think you are making this harder on yourself than it has to be. You either want to be in a relationship with B or you don't. There should be no "I'll stay with him until something better comes along". Understanding this will make your issue with A a lot easier. If you are out of a relationship with B, you are free to start a relationship with A and give him a shot. If things don't work out, than you shouldn't be that heartbroken about losing B because you two didn't have the same "spark" as you say.
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