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Can someone explain what she means?

Tagged as: Dating, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (15 May 2009) 4 Answers - (Newest, 15 May 2009)
A male United Kingdom age 36-40, *r X writes:

Hello,

Ive been with my girl for a month now, not long I know but its going really well which is great :)

On several occasions shes told me she loves me, all well and good but it does seem too soon to say that. Anyhow, she called me last night to say she doesnt love me but still wants to keep seeing each other. Shes said that she couldnt tell me this face to face because when were together, she feels all her problems etc simply disappears and she has never felt so happy, which is a compliment to me and im really happy that i make her happy.

Her telling me that she doesnt love me at the moment I guess is a good sign as she is open with me, but Im unsure exactly what she means.

Any advice? Has this happened to anyone else?

Many thanks

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A reader, anonymous, writes (15 May 2009):

Maybe it's cos you haven't saidtaht you love her

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (15 May 2009):

Honeypie agony auntSeems to me she has no idea how she feels. Some people use the "I love you" as a term of endearment but not really seriously. Maybe she "took" it back becuase she sensed you thought it was a bit much? Or because you haven't said I love you back. ( which by the by is fine, no one should say it til they actually mean it)

I would talk to her, but face to face.

There might be more going on with her then you know.

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A female reader, kellyxxx United Kingdom +, writes (15 May 2009):

kellyxxx agony auntShe means that she doesn't love you but she has strong feelings for you! Just accept this and move along! Xx

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A reader, anonymous, writes (15 May 2009):

It sounds to me like she is moving at full speed! You say you have been dating for a month now, which as you say isn't very long. It's still early days, and I'm sure you are both still getting to know each other. Maybe she realised that she was going a bit fast, and her telling you she doesn't love you is her way of trying to cool off a bit. Or maybe she is confused about how she feels.

It's interesting that she says with you all of her problems seem to disappear, and she told you she loves you when you were together too. Then she changes her mind when she is away from you. Maybe other things in her life are troubling her, and she feels more negative when she is not with you, hence the negative talk. I just wonder if there is other stuff bothering her.

I suppose I would say just take it slowly, but just be careful that this doesn't become a regular thing, with her telling you one thing and then changing her mind suddenly. It could get confusing for you, so just be aware. I hope everything works out well for you though. x

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