A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello dear Aunts and Uncles, I hope I can keep my question short, simple and to the point. I've been in a happy relationship for quite some time and so is this other guy (presumably) I've known for many years. before any of us were into our current relationships, we had some 'tension'(call it flirting, gazing and hugging if you'd like) between us that lasted for a great deal of time and was quite intense. Neither of us acted on it due to an age gap with me being too young (I was in my teens, he was mid-twenty), insecurities, differences of personalities and lifestyles. We have had some talks about this topic and we went separate ways in our love-lives. We never talked things out while this tension really needed a relief.Fast foreward. I have matured a few years, feelings for this man ended and I found new love. So did he. I still see this man on weekly basis, as we have the same job on weekends. We do not speak to each other or try to bother each other but the occasional gazing-game is sometimes still there. It is like a remaining curiosity to me. As if I want to figure him out and want to know why he acted like the way he acted in the past, and I want closure so I do not have any question marks left when I see him. As I said earlier, we never talked things completely through.Thus, These question marks rise, especially on occasions like last week. We were drinking after we were done with work and some of us like to hang around at the bar. Him and I were there, too, but I have my own seperate group of friends and the same applies to him. During my conversation with an acquaintance of him, he decided to pass us (maybe on his way to the toilet as I could see he had his share of alcohol). I was quite suprised when he stopped, addressed me with a cute nick-name ONLY HE USES and asked how I was doing. He tapped me on the knee, ordered me a beer and randomly talked about a thing about us that happened in the past, many a year ago. He left me alone after that but still stared a couple of times, while I sat there, a little confused. Mind you, our conversations are normally non-existent and moments like these raise my question marks and let me wonder why he behaves like this sometimes. I observed him and it seems like I am the only person he does this too. Can someone explain to me what goes through his mind when he decides to go speak to me (mostly under the influence of alcohol) but outside of that, he hardly recognizes me? Can it be that he still has some unanswered questions about me too?It really is self-centered, but I'd like some answers somehow. Thank you for your thoughts.
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male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (24 October 2014):
 Akward is a good word for his actions in a professional environment. In a looser environment and with the edge taken off by a drink or two some free flow of ideas,words and actions can either make things even more akward or be flirtatious. i believe he's flirting to see your reaction.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 October 2014): Many men (and women too I guess) do this a lot. Like you said, you two both share a past and you have no closure to it. I am thinking you both inwardly think maybe something more would have come out of this relationship but it didn't. Many men can also gaze at ladies just to make them feel special and confident. I for one like making insecure ladies confident by giving them compliments once in a blue moon. I never have any sinister ideas, but just wanna make women comfortable when I realize they have low self esteem. Don't read much into that, he is just being a man :)
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