A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:He says "the sex always feel like the first time" with a smile. What does that mean? Everytime he says this I feel like I am always trying to give my best. I'm nervous because I know we have incredible sex but Ihope I will be able to keep up once we get married. I would rather not have him say anything like that because I know it will not always be like that a we getting older. What do you think? Question to married couples: is it possible for sex to keep getting better as you age or great sex deterioriating should be expected as timegoes on. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 July 2011): I suppose what is true for one couple may not be true for another, but I'll tell you my experience. My wife and I have been married 36 years. Our first sexual experiences were not that great. That is probably because she was sexually abused as a child and had some issues with sex. She went through therapy. Today, it is better than ever when it happens. Although not often enough for me and less often than in the past.
A
male
reader, Odds +, writes (22 July 2011):
 It doesn't just happen (or not happen), it's entirely between the two of you. Are both of you willing and eager to sneak in the time for sex, even with the kids around? To do it even when you're tired at the end of the day, or to just tell the kids "Mommy and Daddy need private time for an hour, don't get into trouble," then actually relax and focus on each other without letting the kids occupy the back of your mind?
It's up to you. I have friends with kids, and all but one couple complain constantly about their (lack of) sex lives. The happy couple tell me that they think one of the best gifts they can give their children is parents who love each other, and one of the measures they take to that end is sneaking in any time they can for sex - often meaning that their friends get to watch the kids for a couple of hours. One imagines that, like sex without kids, it's much better if one can just forget about everything else in the world and get into it.
It's just a matter of commitment, to yourselves and to each other.
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A
female
reader, Dorothy Dix  +, writes (22 July 2011):
Hi there. Sex is always great before you get married, and you aren't necessarily seeing each other all the time. So it's often a case of whenever you see each other - which might only be once a week.
Sex can over a few years of marriage, become not so frequent, because of tiredness, illness, long work schedules etc. But it doesn't mean that it's not as good. Just perhaps, not so frequent that's all.
Sex is different things to different people. It's an important part yes, but not the most important part of a relationship.
The more interesting you make your individual lives, the more it adds to your relationship, which then naturally extends to the bedroom. So it's interesting all round.
But ultimately, life is what you make it.
As long as you make time for each other each day - and then especially after having children - you can still keep your sex life as good as it was before you got married.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 July 2011): The best sex I've every had, hands down, was after 18 years of being together, several kids, life full of job stress, and financial worries out the ying-yang.
This was with my wife (just for clarity), and she echos the sentiment (I was very inexperienced when we met, she has much more to compare me to). More orgasms (she's had way more with me in the last year than she had at any time period prior to that with me or with any other partner or herself), good and satisfying sex, with no question afterward that it was good and satisfying.
Why? She finally was able to really believe that she was truly and completely accepted by someone.
Your experience may differ. No warranties express or implied with this information.
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