A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So, there's this girl. She is almost seventeen, finishing high school, and I am 18 in first year engineering. We've been casual friends for close to 2 years now. Except 5 months ago, we somehow ended up in a relationship, and turns out, we really get along well and it has been an awesome 5 months. We've gotten in all sorts of trouble together and had lots of "firsts" and generally we make a good couple. But on Tuesday, she moved to Australia (I live in Canada) which is pretty much a bullet to the head for our relationship. This isn't that sudden tho. It's been in the planning since before we got into a relationship. But now that it's here, its a little overwhelming and heartbreaking.Up till now, it was pretty much agreed that the relationship would come to an end. But now, it seems like neither of us want that, although it doesn't really matter seeing as there's half the planet between what we "want". We've been skyping and texting non-stop since she left, and she keeps asking "what should we do about us?" and i keep trying to avoid answering. It's also worth saying that the reason she (and her family) moved BACK to Australia, is because she felt like she had no close friends, and in short "hates" Canada. Which just makes everything worse, because she's convinced it's her fault. But it's hard to say weather she would have come to the same conclusion had we been more timely with our relationship.So really, the question is, do we stay a little more then just friends, or is tough love the best in this case? She keeps talking about distance future, but the reality is, Im stuck where I am for at least the next 3 or 4 years. Can a relationship be cold for that long and still have any traces? Sorry it's a bit of a long read. Any words of assurance would be appreciated.
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male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (20 January 2012):
 You're lucky in that the internet makes things so much easier than in my early years. Back then it was letters once a week to try to keep the passion aglow. Didn't work.You must work hard for the things you want. email her every hour if need be but don't fall fgor that line of well we just need to take a break for a while.
A
female
reader, PeanutButter  +, writes (20 January 2012):
 Hey there! I have a few things to say and mostly all are encouraging.
First of all, it is wonderful that you have developed this relationship with each other and an underlying friendship that has the potential to outlast anything.
The good news it, you are still young and anything really is possible & the fact that you are questioning your options is, to me, a very mature way of dealing with a not-so-great situation, but you don't necessarily have to end things off the bat 0 but you should keep those lines of communication open and discuss it so you both have an idea where you stand.
Make sure to tell her it isn't her fault, but that life just sometimes throws you a curve ball when you least expect it - and sometimes you hit it out of the park!
I personally have some experience with long distance relationships as i'm from England and my husband is American. We met in 2006 and lived in separate countries until 2009! With us it made us stronger and we really knew what we wanted so it was tough, emotionally but we stuck with it because neither of us wanted to let it go. It doesnt work for everyone but who is to say it won't work for you?
Just be open and honest and make sure you are both sure about it - if nothing else you can remain friends then see where it goes in a few years if that is what needs to be done - just dont push the couple thing unless its what you both really want and can handle otherwise it might all go crazy and you'll lose a friendship too - FYI my husband and I saw eachother 2 or 3 times a year at it got us through, just!
Good luck1 xx
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