Can our relationship be fixed?

A female age 41-50, *ris7127 writes:

I've been dating this guy for about 2 and half months. For the first month or so things were great! We both have the same group of friends and we're always going out. He was always calling; I knew he really liked me. However, I think we spent too much time together, pretty much everyday. The 2nd week into the 2 month we were together is when we decided to have sex, was amazing. My first mistake was in the 3rd week of the 2nd month we were together. We went out on a Saturday to a club, which is something we always do. Even before we started dating. We were drinking having a good time with our friends. I would do my thing and he would do his. Then I started to notice him acting different. I ask him if something was wrong and he assured me that everything was fine. However is actions were showing something was wrong. So I went about the night have a good time and not worrying about it. Next thing I know he leaves me at the bar. We were both hammered at this point, which I know is bad and I should have just went home. But in my stupid drunk state of mind I decide to go over to his house, a friend drove me. We were supposed to go there at the end of the night, before he got mad. He lives with his grandmother and mom, which I only met once. I wasn't ready to have a meeting with either parents yet. Anyways so we pull up to his house, he was there. So I decided to knock on his window to see if he was still awake. VERY BAD IDEA!!!! His grandmother heard it and came out to the porch. I was mortified and didn't know what to do, so I step around the side of the house. She started screaming about how they weren't redneck family and she was going to call the cops. I thought she blew it way out of proportion, but nun the less this was really happening. She woke the entire house. He called me to see what the hell I was doing; called me crazy and he asks me to just leave. So I walked to my car with my head down told his grandmother I was sorry and left. I apologized the next day and tried to redeem myself, but he was a little freaked out. He said he had to think about everything, I understood. So I gave him his space, didn’t call him or try to see him. He called me on Thursday and we talked for a bit. He seemed to need more time; he said he didn’t know what to do. By the next Saturday I had decided enough is enough. He was either going to forgive me or not. So I told him if he didn’t make a decision that we just needed to go out separate ways. He said he was ready to started hanging out again and he just wanted to act like nothing ever happened, so we went out that night. Everything was great! However, we were back to hanging with each other every day. The following Tuesday came and we had plans to just chill at home. He was coming to my place. He got off work late around 10:30 and sent me a text saying he wanted to grab a bit to eat first. Well that turned into 2 hours. So I sent him a text to see what was going on. Didn’t hear from him til about 1am. He said he was out with some friends and he would be there when he got there. I could tell he was a little drunk. He called me at 3am and was nothing, but an argument. I told him he was being disrespectful, so he went home. I didn’t want him coming over anyways at this point, I was in bed. The next day I told him I wasn’t putting up with that crap and if he’s going to act like that we need to go our separate ways. He apologizes and said he was sorry; he was having a bad night over some ex girlfriend drama. I told him that that was not an excuse to treat me like that, I don’t deserve it. He agreed and everything was fine. The next problem we had was Saturday night. As normal we went out to the club. We met up separately, hung around for a minute. He saw some friends he knew; particular this girl who I now know is a friend of his wife. However I didn’t know that at the time. He didn’t really introduce me and I felt a bit ignored. So I went to go get a drink and left him alone for a bit. He found me as I was talking to some friend are started asking what my problem was. I told him I was feeling a bit ignored and he never introduced me to this girl as his girl. I had know idea who she was, but it could have been someone trying to hook up with him. Especially by their action. I got over it and everything was fine. We ended up staying with his friend and his wife. I started feeling weird again we he wanted to talk to the wife alone. I could hear most of what they were talking about because they were so loud. He mentioned that he’s not sure he likes me anymore because of my actions in the club. Everything has been fine since I let what I heard go. However these last couple of days has been awkward. I’m starting to feel a distance. We never had these problems before my first mistake. Now we are both a little insecure and things are touchier. I don’t know what to do. I decided yesterday that I was going to give him some space and not hang out or talk as much. I don’t know if that will help. What do you think I should do? Can our relationship be fixed or should I just end it because we are having so many problems every time we drink together? I really like this guy and know he’s covered up with a lot of relationship fears, as I am too. I really want this to work if we can just get beyond our fears of each other and possibly getting hurt. I hope you can help me!

View related questions: drunk, ex girlfriend, grandmother, insecure, text

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A female reader, kris7127  +, writes (13 June 2009):

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