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female
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anonymous
writes: After my lover led me on for several years. I finally snapped and had a moment of madness. I sent a text message to his wife hinting at his infidelity and it turns out he has had many other flings. I then later received angry calls from him, several text messages from his wife asking about times and dates etc. I haven't answered them as I now regret having done it but he has told me that she's gone to the police to have the messages traced - Can she do that? Should I expect a visit from the police? I know I'm a cow - I don't need telling that! (liverpool)
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 January 2008): I cant understand why you are shocked that this is happening you ARE HAVING AN AFFAIR WITH HER HUSBAND! and you want to know your rights, WOW! As for Leanne I agree that the husband is skum but what does that make a woman who knows the man is married and continues to sleep with him ??????mmmmmm Sorry but I feel for wives and husbands who are cheated on and cant understand how people do not want to take responsibility on something that they have also created you knew he was married you should of ran.....My heart goes to the wife.....
A
female
reader, leanne.od  +, writes (14 September 2007):
 hello. i am in almost the same situation as you are now. although i haven't got round to telling his wife, i have been in a relationship with a married man for the past 2 years. please trust me when i tell you that even she if she did go to the police, what does she hold against you except a grudge because you were seeing her husband? she's looking to blame someone for his infedility and unfortunately, you are the number one target. if she does trace you, through your number, what does she propose to do? has she threatend you? which in any court of law would be more understandable than you having made any threats. accept that this man is just like every other lying, cheating scum, and although right now it's hard to imagine, he'll loose everything in the end and probably come running to you but you need to be strong and then you'll find peace. good luck and please be assured, no policeman will come knocking.
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female
reader, pinklady +, writes (16 May 2006):
 Hi hunni. I am not going to lecture you, since I have been in the same situation myself, many moons ago, and I also had grief from the wife, when she discovered, through me, that her hubby was cheating. My lover and his wife made numerous threats, including tracing my number (although my then ex lover gave his wife my number and address anyway), and I found all their threats to be just that. Threats. I really feel for you, being in this situation. It is something I have first hand experience of, and it's not pleasant for the mistress, not at all, so I don't think anyone has the right to have a go at you, especially if they haven't been in that situation themselves. Personally, I wouldn't worry about the threats. I would concern myself more with your low self esteem. Please chat to me again if you need any more advice. I am happy to help you.
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 May 2006): Unless you made threats in the text message, the police have much bigger fish to fry. Please don't worry. As the good doctor has said "He's just pissed at you."
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A
female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (15 May 2006):
 I wasn't aware that infidelity was a criminal offence...perhaps it ought to be? The only remotely connected offence would be if you sent her obscene messages as there is a communications act in the UK to prevent menacing calls etc and BT work with the police on this. The police are able to trace phone users details from their telephone numbers when the phone has been registered with a mobile phone provider. Mobile companies are not allowed to give out your address etc under the data protection act (unless it is at the request of the police).
He is just saying things to scare you now that his bit of fun has been exposed. He is angry because he was in control, telling you fibs about wanting you and being in a bad marriage etc etc and now you have taken charge of the situation. He is cheating on his wife repeatedly and wouldn't make great husband material for you either as he would just to do the same thing to you as well. Best to walk away and learn a lesson?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 May 2006): The text message will have come from a phone number. She can access the records on her end and get the originating number. There maybe a little more difficulty if you blocked your number prior to sending the msg. But seeing as how you screw around with a married man and then are surprised when they don't leave. I'm not sure you figured out that either.Either way, she'll eventually get it, and from that point it's fairly easy to get an address.
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