A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Me and my ex broke up now around 5 months ago and from then to now, it has not seemed to get any easier. We have repeatedly met up (sometimes when drunk), spoke, argued or whatever in this time and have not really gave each other a lot of space (in the long term) through out as these things have kept happening. We met up the other day as we both do always say we miss each other which is true however we don't want a relationship at the moment. We have always got on so well, mostly better than I have with anyone else ever, however obviously the feelings are still there so we can't just go on to be friends. When we met up the other day, I told him everything like how upset I have been since and it hasn't got any easier (which he knows as he has always known exactly how I do feel) but it feels like it has literally taken over my life, as it just won't go away. I cried my eyes out and told him all of this and that I don't want to feel like this anymore but obviously I do love him or my feelings for him are very strong but I just wish this would all go away. We both feel very sure that at the moment we believe we are the right people for each other and feel very sure that we will one day be together again but we are both young and he doesn't want a relationship right now, which I feel like to as I feel I should just live first, however he has repeated to me that he can't see himself being with anyone else but me and he doesn't want to be with anyone when he does want a relationship but me. I feel the exact same about him obviously, and like I said we both feel so sure that we are right for each other and will be together again. After meeting the other night, he dropped me home and I said obviously I'll probably just go home and be upset about it because obviously I just want him but I can't have him at the moment. This morning, I felt very upset about the whole thing and had to text him just to say that I cannot wait for him any longer and I don't know how you can think you have your 'right person' but can let them go, because I know that would not be something I could do. I told him that I have been there for him since we broke up to fall back on but it's not something I can do anymore and I won't be there any longer to listen to him tell me he misses me or be there whenever he feels like it. He knows exactly how I feel about him and I said that I cannot carry on being this upset and now need to move on and try be happy. I let him know I love him with all my heart but I have to give up for good now as I'm just hurting myself and letting him hurt me. He said that he understood and that everything he has said to me is the truth. I have now unfollowed him on everything and deleted and blocked his number. Do you think we could be back together one day? I know we both felt very sure in ourselves that we will be one day but I know not to set my heart on it and I definitely am not. I also know we are quite young and feelings from when you're young change and right now it may feel this bad but I know when I grow it won't feel as bad or maybe not at all. Do you think this situation is true and we can find our way back to each other? Has this every happened to any of you? I have finally put my foot down and am stopping being there for him whenever he wants as I know this is what I have been stupidly doing. I just want to see others opinions or views or maybe own experiences?
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male
reader, N91 +, writes (7 September 2016):
 Look, I know exactly how you feel I went through something very similar recently where I felt as though I had an unbelievable bond with a girl I'd been seeing on and off for two years. We were never official, but for the most part of it we were exclusive to each other.
I felt like I'd never got on with anyone else as well as her in my life she made me unbelievably happy as I believe I did for her also. We had some downs along the way but that's just normal life and we managed to get over them.
To cut a long story short, it got to a point where I didn't like the unstable nature of what we had, we were both single, I declared I'd like things to be more serious to which she didn't want because she was a few years younger than me and came out of a 4 year relationship before we met. So things came to a grinding halt as we weren't going to get together.
Sometimes I think to myself will our paths cross again further down the line ? As I honestly believe I've never connected with anyone as well as I did with her. But then I ask myself, if she truly right for me ? If she was, then why are circumstances not allowing us to be together ?
What I'm getting at is that everything about her for me feels like we are made for each other, but if that was so then why have we called things off and stopped speaking to each other to save each other the heart ache ? I think it's very possible to share close connections with people that we're not destined to be with and that they only come into our life to teach us what we want and don't want in future relationships.
I think you need to re assess everything and ask whether you truly are meant for each other, because to me, I don't think you are, no matter how much it feels like it. There wouldn't be anything stopping you being together if you were.
I feel like I've started to ramble on, but we stopped speaking quite a while back (though it didn't last long) and she said something along the lines of maybe we will see where we're up to in a few years. At the time I liked the prospect of that, but now I look at it from a different perspective and just think we're not as compatible as I first thought. Although it feels very odd to say that considering how well we clicked.
A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (7 September 2016):
"One day, whether you are 14, 28 or 65,
you will stumble upon someone who will start a fire in you that cannot die.
However, the saddest, most awful truth you will ever come to find––
is they are not always with whom we spend our lives."
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (6 September 2016):
 I know you are young, but if he really wanted to be with you then he would be, but at the moment he doesn't. I am glad you have accepted that. Things did not get easier in the 5 months because you still clung on, you where still in contact with him. You cannot do that. If he does not want to be with you now, then you need to say enough is enough and live your life without him. I don't doubt you both have feelings for each other, but at the moment he does not have enough to want to be with you. First heartbreak is the worst, and yes it will be hard, but if you go around believing you are both only on a break you will never fully let go and you will keep on hurting. He will move on and you will get upset ect. You need to let go and see what the future holds, good luck.
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