A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Although my boyfriend's never been officially tested for STDs, he's pretty sure he's clear. From what I know, he hasn't had many previous sexual partners (although he didn't always use condoms because his then girlfriends were on birth control, and apparently sex feels better without them). Anyway, I want to stick with condoms when we start having sex just to be on the safe side, also since I'm not on any form of contraception - I'm still a virgin. The thing is, I've given him oral a couple of times without a condom. Am I at risk of catching something that way if he has an STD he doesn't know about? It's been weeks since we did that and I haven't noticed any symptoms in myself, but... :/ Any answers would be very much appreciated! Thanks x
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condom, oral sex, std, still a virgin Reply to this Question
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female
reader, jen157  +, writes (12 November 2011):
Almost all STDs can be transmitted orally. So there is always risk involved. As So_Very_Confused said if he refuses, that can say a lot, but I wouldn't put to much into it. Men can often refuse testing and hospitals for no reason at all. That said I would get tested if your worried if nothing else it will clear your mind and make you feel better.Since your young, I imagine as most do, you don't want people involved (parents, sisters and so forth) go to planned parenthood or another free clinic. Here's a good list throughout the country. http://yourstdhelp.com/free_clinic_locator.html
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (8 November 2011):
 You can contract STDs orally.
He needs to be tested. If he refuses that says a lot to me....
When my bf and I got together both of us has blood work and were tested for STDs. Twice right away and six months later.
it's not that big a deal.... and it shows a commitment to your partner.
You are probably safe but you should ask him to get tested.
IF he says he can't afford it he can go to a local planned parenthood clinic and they will help him get tested.
If he refuses to be tested, I'd be refusing any sexual contact without condoms.
As for birth control, While condoms are helpful they are not 100% and I would suggest you discuss with your doctor what hormonal methods of birth control are options for you.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (8 November 2011):
 Yes, it is possible.. The best way to find out is to GET TESTED.
He needs to get tested. It's protocol to get tested before each new relationship/sexual relationship. It's just good manners. It's rude not to. Of course he can have an STD without knowing it, several carry no symptoms at all. They still do harm though. So get tested. No ifs ands or buts, get tested.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 November 2011): strongfp said what I was going to say...I might also add that HPV and Herpes are spread skin to skin. A condom helps reduce the risk of transmission, but it's not a 100% guarantee.
If you can, get vaccinated for HPV before you have sex, do it. Frankly, if he's had any sexual partners, the odds are about 50% that he's been exposed to HPV at some point...HPV is that common. In the US, it's publicized as being a woman's disease because of it's association with cervical cancer.... but I always get annoyed that no one mentions that it's also responsible for genital warts. Both conditions aren't necessarily apparent directly after you get the virus; it can take years to show up physically.
Herpes in the adult US population is about 20% so it's unlikely he has it. Then again though, asking him to get tested is always a good idea.
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A
female
reader, spanishquerida +, writes (8 November 2011):
Chlamydia can be transmitted through oral sex, and most of the time you show NO symptoms for it at all. This means that neither of you would know you had it until it was too late. It can cause infertility and other terrible consequences so do not perform any oral sex or normal sex until you BOTH get tested now!
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A
female
reader, Candid Cally +, writes (8 November 2011):
Instead of worrying about what you may or may not catch, how about both of you go to a local clinic and have the full battery of blood tests performed so you can know your std status?
Yes, there are types of std's like certain strains of hpv that have no symptoms initially, but can increase your risk of throat cancer later in life especially of you smoke cigarettes. It is better to be on the safe side. Hey tested, and make sure he does the same.
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A
female
reader, Candid Cally +, writes (8 November 2011):
Instead of worrying about what you may or may not catch, how about both of you go to a local clinic and have the full battery of blood tests performed so you can know your std status?
Yes, there are types of std's like certain strains of hpv that have no symptoms initially, but can increase your risk of throat cancer later in life especially of you smoke cigarettes. It is better to be on the safe side. Hey tested, and make sure he does the same.
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