A
female
age
41-50,
*áilín-Deas
writes:A year after being married to my husband, its not working out and it feels like marriage has ruined our relationship. There's no closeness, tenderness, we pass eachother on a daily basis barely saying good-morning and when we go to bed at night, Im usually in bed reading a book before he gets in. When he does come to bed, he gets under the covers, puts his back to me and nod's off to sleep. We didnt live together before getting married and I obviously had other expectations from marriage. Can anyone help me and answer me, 'Can marriage ruin a relationship'? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 August 2009): you need to be the changethat you desperately desire. meaning you start making the changes. maybe he too has expectations but because somehow you two have gotten into this boring routine you think its fine. start talking. tell him :love, lets do something different today." and make plans.you are reading a book when he gets to bed. how about you being his dessert when he gets into bed:dress up sexily and wait for him in bed. have a bath, put on sexy clothes, leave little to the imagination, spray perfume, set the scene. what man will not take you up on this invitation. sometimes we take our marriage for granted. i think your expectations are unreal if you do not work at your marriage. take it from someone who is married for almost 18 years. i was so young, so naive during the first few years. boring maybe as well. as i matured so did my thinking. so did my life. i realise that to be successful i had to balance work/life. i had to put into the marriage and bank continously. marriage=hard work, committment, honesty. it is a challenge and as women we need to raise to this challenge and deliver. don't get me wrong, just as you work on it your man also has to make changes. just don't be the one waiting for the other to make the firt move. then nothing will change.you too need to be gentle, compliment him, boost his ego, tell him he is wonderful. men are also emotional creatures. they too want to feel loved. and pampered. try while passing each other, squeeze his bum, rub his privates. show him that you are still sexually interested in him. send him a naughty email/ sms. ask him whats on the sex menu tonight.i wish you luck and wish you happiness. marriage is a continuos challenge. you can make this a happy sexually fulfilled marriage. try and communicate with hubby. tell him what you are feeling. talk to him lovingly. both of you start making a difference in your marriage.
A
female
reader, somebodyoutthere  +, writes (7 August 2009):
Be the first to change that! Say good morning, greet him at the door when he comes home from work with a big kiss, write him a small note and put it on his pillow, ect.
Marriage seem to be a big step to many people and it does change thing. Is your expection too high? Let it down, not everything is perfect or right in marriage. It's about a bond together. Don't give up dates, still go out once a week to a fancy dinner or even picnic by the lake.
Relationship & Marriage both have their honeymoon stage, when it pass, you both have to work on it, not let it go! Do the things you did before living together!
Surprise him with small things, these are the things that help spark the romance and keep it alive. Buy a sexy lingerie and surprise him! If he works nearby, sneak a rose either on his windshield or in car with a note (Careful not to say anything too much, just keep it simple as "I am thinking about you." Incase somebody else reads it).
There are a lot of ideas, even check lovingyou.com for more!
Nobody ever said love is easy. ;)
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