A
male
age
30-35,
*ahkiti
writes:l told my best friend outright that l liked him, he was SUPPOSEDLY bi, but apparently l was wrong? l still don't know for sure. l had to tell him over facebook, as we were short on time. He reacted to me as if l had turned into a giant frog, almost as if he found it strange. l called him shortly after and while he seemed calm, l detected much uncertainty in his voice. He later told me he took a two hour bike ride after. He is not taking this well dispite acting like he is. Can l repair the damage l caused?
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female
reader, loving arms  +, writes (10 April 2009):
maybe the fact that you discussed the fact on an open forum such as face book is what has caused his reaction. Talking to a friend is one thing. Doing it where others can read what you do not want to share is quite another. Maybe the only way to repair any damage is to tell him face to face that you feel he is uncomfortable and that you are sorry you have made him feel this way but you hope you can both put it behind you and take your friendship up from where it was before.
good luck
A
male
reader, NightLad +, writes (8 April 2009):
 Hi there,
Did your friend tell you in confidence that he thinks he might be bi, or is it something he speaks about openly?
If he just told you, than he may have been confiding some bi-curious feelings that he is going through. If so, than by telling him that you like him may have shifted these “maybe maybe-not” feelings into something far more real; that he could actually be with another guy instead of just wondering about it. That might have freaked him out a bit.
If he speaks about his supposed bisexuality openly, than he may just not feel the same way about you and is worried about harming your friendship. After all, when a friend tells another that their feelings have changed to something more-than-platonic, it is a big step.
I’d recommend you give him a couple days to think it out, and then gently bring up the topic. Reassure him that you value his friendship a great deal and you did not want to do or say anything that would jeopardize it. Then see what he has to say. You will probably have a lot you want to say, but it is also important to listen.
Over the next couple of days you will also have to consider how you will handle this situation if your friend does not return your feelings. Will you be okay with going back to being just friends? Will you be okay with him thinking that you just had a passing crush, and not real feelings? He may convince himself of that possibility to better cope after letting you down.
I hope this helps. I wish you all the best.
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