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Can insecurities prevent a woman from having an orgasm?

Tagged as: Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (31 August 2011) 8 Answers - (Newest, 1 September 2011)
A male United States age 36-40, *ntrex24 writes:

Can a girls insecurities about her body (weight, how her vagina looks, birthmarks on her face) inhibit her ability to have an orgasm?

View related questions: orgasm, vagina

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (1 September 2011):

So_Very_Confused agony auntit's NOT your responsibility to give her an orgasm. it's hers. I have only ever been with ONE man who could make me orgasm. and then only through oral.

it's sadly perfectly normal for women to not be able to orgasm through sex....

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A male reader, intrex24 United States +, writes (31 August 2011):

intrex24 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Wow thank you everyone for the responses. I've been dating my girlfriend for almost four years now, is it normal that i haven't given her an orgasm?

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A female reader, chigirl Norway +, writes (31 August 2011):

chigirl agony auntYes. A woman needs to feel completely relaxed and calm in order to orgasm. If she is nervous about her body etc, worried or thinking about something else, she's not completely enjoying herself, and an orgasm will not happen.

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A female reader, YouWish United States +, writes (31 August 2011):

YouWish agony auntOh absolutely insecurities can hinder orgasm. For a woman, her success greatly increases if she's able to relax and let go. If she's nervous and clenched, it'll most likely not happen.

What you have to do is make her feel like a supermodel every time you're with her. It'll take time, but she'll get used to you enough to let go.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (31 August 2011):

Yes absolutely. If a woman isn't completely comfortable whilst having sex, most likely she wont orgasm. So if she feels insecure about her body, the odds are she doesn't feel sexy and will find it hard to cum.

You have to make sure she feels 100% comfortable during sex, making sure she feels sexy and that she knows YOU think that of her and that there's nothing wrong with her body. It may take her some time.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (31 August 2011):

Yes...absolutely!

If you aren't comfortable with yourself, it's hard to relax enough to enjoy the moment. I don't know if you've ever had problems getting it up when you were under pressure or perhaps felt nervous... but it happens with women too....I've definitely had moments where I was stressed out or even silently angry at my partner. I would end up telling him, "sorry, it's not going to happen tonight"

I've heard some boyfriends go on and on about how they have it so hard during sex because they are the ones that "have to" perform to make anything happen. They're right;

Women can fake an orgasm or lie and said they enjoyed it, men actually have to fully aroused to. But like So Very Confused said, penetration isn't the only avenue to making your woman feel pleasure.

I really do believe your enjoyment of sex is directly tied to how you feel about yourself. If she hates her body, it's really up to her to change her perspective. No amount of your complimenting and your flattery her will change her mind.

I would suggest talking to her about this openly. Younger women usually go to great lengths to please the men they date...if she realizes her attitude is affecting you in a negative way, it might make her a bit more aware. Talk to her.

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A male reader, intrex24 United States +, writes (31 August 2011):

intrex24 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

My girlfriend has a very sensitive clitoris and even laughs because of it, when i go down on her

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (31 August 2011):

So_Very_Confused agony auntI would imagine so... but the truth is many if not most women do not orgasm from straight penetration....

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