A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Here's my problem my ex girlfriend and I have been broken up for a little over 2 months now. And this entire experience has been extremely hard on me, and my feelings for her haven't changed. I still love her just as much the day we ended things, and I thought going NC for a while would help her to see that too. I knew that going NC wouldn't be good for me because I care and love her so much and every one of those days that we weren't talking my heart was literally being torn apart and I was missing her more and more. But I thought that she needed some time away from me so I've been following through with it. However I found out through a friend that about a few days after ending things with me she was already dating somebody new and apparently she loves him. I fear that when I went NC she got over me very quickly and has completely moved on from me. One of the problems in our relationship was that she felt that we were in different stages in our life. However I kept reassuring her that I was willing to adjust my lifestyle so that I could be with her.My question is I desperately want her back more then anything in the world. She was my first love and I would give anything to be with her again. I don't want to let her go completely without fighting for her first. Because I've always believed that if you want something desperately then you should fight for it. I know she still has feelings for me somewhere deep down because honestly no one can get over someone completely and date somebody new and love them so quickly. So what's the best way for me to win her back? Because honestly without her in my life I just don't know how I can ever love anyone ever again. She was the one true shining star in my life and her not being here when i needed her the most has been gut wrenching.
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female
reader, claire_tucker89  +, writes (17 November 2010):
You can love someone again, it is just too raw at the time being.
You can of course fight for someone, in some instances it works out, in others it doesn't. It seems that if she is already claiming her love for someone else, then perhaps she is either confused about what it means to love someone, or it is all an act.
You will need to get the right balance between fighting for her and not going too far. How to fight is up to you, but the best thing you could do is talk to her, one on one. Find out the truth from her, tell her how you feel. Honesty is always the better policy rather than grand gestures. If she has moved on, then sometimes if you love someone enough you have to let them go, otherwise you could force her away for good. If you love her like you say you do, then let her be happy.
Sometimes things happen for a reason, if you two love each other then of course love will always win. If she no longer loves you then you can't force it.
Don't give up on love, whether it is with her or someone who will love you back.
A
male
reader, pup1234 +, writes (17 November 2010):
 hi iam in the same hell as youmy i went nc, she meet somone
else soon after, but in my case she had stoped loving me for a while befor we split and i had no idea,
i know this will hurt you hereing this, but thats what could have happend with her, i feel for you
even after she told me that she stoped loving me a long time ago. iv still not
give up hope
even now 1 year latter i still feel the same i even moved away so would not bump in to her,they say time dos heal
i wish i could beleve that,
sorry if this up sets you, if she loved you she would be with you, i hope you do make it back to her, as i would not want anyone to go throgh this, if you 2 dont get together again, i hope you find some peace in your life, for me i know i will never stop loving her or love anyone else, good luck tim
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