A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Can I trust my female friend? A friend who I thought was a friend is seeing a guy I like behind my back. I know it is none of my business - but when I confronted her she played it down and pretended nothing was going on, when all I wanted was an honest answer.I know she is lying to me, as I have heard both from him and another mutual friend that they are seeing each other and she has also split with her boyfriend because of him. So my question is - Is she lying to me as not to hurt my feelings or is she being sly as she knows me and the guy used to like each other? Should I trust what she says now?I would rather her just be honest with me - but if I drop friendship with her it will affect my mutual friends also.Who should I trust? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (13 July 2015):
 One of my close friends had a crush on my now husband back in the day. Like 25 years ago. We are all still good friends.
You are asking about 'trust'... I would go with forgiveness and let her be with the guy she likes. As you now know, he's not your future boyfriend.
Decide what is more important to you and then go from there.
Me, personally, I'd go with friendship and positivity. But that's just me being nerdy and all accepting and s**t like that.
Maybe this is your time to examine what your friends and friendships mean to you.
My advice to you is to live your life, be honest, be kind and be willing to take risks. Otherwise you wind up stuck and bored and questioning yourself!
A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (13 July 2015):
 Obviously she is lying to you because she doesn't want to jeopardize the friendship but doesn't believe she can be honest without doing just that.
On the one hand you acknowledge this is none of your business while on the other you're intent on cornering her for an answer. You've already been told by the guy and by a mutual friend, and you suspect as much on your own. How far do you plan to take this? Are you going to ask all your mutual friends, compare her schedule to his, hope to catch her in the act then pounce on her?
They're dating. Leave them alone.
This wasn't done TO you or even despite you. Stop trying to corner folks into giving you answers and you might find they volunteer things more often.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (13 July 2015):
 I think she doesn't want you to be mad at her. However lying is rarely the way to maintain a friendship.
If I were you I would "change" her status (in your mind) from friend to acquaintance. Friends don't do shady thing, NOT even to "spare" your feelings. Since totally dropping her would hurt the whole group of friends it would be "easier" to just spend time with her when SHE and YOU are with the group, but NOT spend much time with her alone.
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