A
female
age
30-35,
*iss peanut17
writes:I know this is long but please read it. I really need advice because I am confused about keeping this relationship going or not.I will try to make this as short as possible. First of all I would like to say that even though I am about to write a lot of bad stuff that happened, my boyfriend truly is a great motivated guy who treats everyone good and has a lot going for himself.When I was 19 I moved from wisconsin to arizona in with my cousin out of the blue so I could have a change. After 2 weeks of living there I met this guy. We will call him alex. We had an amazing relationship, we would stay up late every night talking for hours and spending the night with each other and we even took a trip to australia. He was so nice and I loved his personality and everything about him. 3 months later me and my cousin had a bad downfall so I ended up moving in with him and lived with him for 7 months. The whole time we lived together was awesome, we got along really great, didn't clash together and rarely fought. I didn't even question him because he was such a genuine person. He told me everything about his life, even things he had never told anyone before. I told him everything about mine.Well around the 7th month he started treating me like crap. Cuddling with me a lot less, not helping me with anything, being really distant. blaming me for the dirty dishes his brother would make, and in return I started getting really suspicious and snooping in his phone and accusing him of doing something behind my back which would cause huge fights where he would tell me I need to stop being a psycho and trust him or we were over but everything just kept happening and our relationship turned to crap. I cried a lot.There were two girls we agreed he wouldn't talk too. They weren't ex's but they were both girls who he had things with and that we both mutually decided he didn't need to be talking to while with me. I knew he had texted them a few times which made me furious but I let it go until one night I felt something wasn't right. After he tells me he loves me more than anything and wants to marry me and spend the rest of his life with me, he goes to sleep and I go through his phone to find tons of texts to both katie and nicole and although I didn't read the ones to katie the ones to nicole were basically laughing about how he was breaking up with me and hitting on her.I broke up with him and moved back to wisconsin.To end this shitty story, basically the day I moved home he called his dad crying to him about it and then called my sister telling her he can't live without me and left me 457457485 messages on my phone and cried to me on the phone every day for two weeks telling me he was just trying to look cool and you don't realize how much you love something until it's gone. I believe in second chances so I gave it to him and we had a really great relationship after that. Me and his brother are really close (who he lives with) and I know he'd tell me if something was going on and alex texts me throughout the day, every single day, calls me randomly throughout the day every day and we talk for at least 3 hours every night, tells me he doesn't ever want to loose me and that he can't wait to start a family and get married (we are now 21) and have been together for a year and a half. We are long distance and he plans to move here once he graduates next year and he even bought me a diamond promise ring. But lately every time I am on the phone with him he gets a text and it is bringing all the old memories back and making me feel like he could do this again. Do you think he's learned or he would do it again? Do they actually change?A few thing's to think about are..We visit each other at least once a month and have long visits (3 weeks) where he literally lets me have his phone the whole time and doesn't care.The last time I stayed with him katie texted him saying "hey whats up" and he admitted to me that he replied to one text after we broke up but gave a short answer and they didn't have a conversation.he unblocked nicole from facebook but once I said something he blocked her again.I just don't know. :/
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female
reader, xAx  +, writes (17 August 2010):
 From reading what you wrote, it seems that he is trying to earn your trust back. I think that you should go with the flow of things and see where it takes you.
The more you bug him about texting those other girls, the more he will keep from you as he knows you don't like it. Let him prove himself until you are shown otherwise. Don't feel like you have to check his mobile as that non-trusting behaviour isn't healthy for a relationship. Only look when you feel deep inside yourself that something is wrong.
Hope this helps x
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 August 2010): Hmm seems strange that he finds it hard to cut them from his life. I can understand why you want him too and why you broke up with him. Look he knows now how you feel, how close he was to losing you. It may hurt like hell but if he does go against your wishes again and says horrible things like last time, it is time to walk away for good as it is a major sign of disrespect and trouble ahead.
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