A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I feel so in love with my...guy. We're away from each other for a few days and it like feels ages, unbearable. He drove 8hrs once just to see me. My friends don't think he's attractive, (he's older by 16) but I think he's beautiful, we look at each other sometimes and can't stop smiling. But, when we met, we only wanted friendship. That changed when he became my first lover-though never spoken out loud. I have nightmares sometimes when I spend the night and he wakes me, comforts me till I fall asleep. He ditched work twice when I had an emergency. I'm clumsy, absent-minded, naive etc-he doesnt care. He's cocky at times, somewhat spoiled and impatient I don't mind I can soothe it away. I hear: "te quiero"sometimes, its a mild I love you in spanish. I love him yet it's only been six months...how can I tell him? I'm so scared. Hes been burned bad and is frightened of commitment. I'm patient though...but should I even bother telling him? Can I scare him?
View related questions:
I love you Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 August 2010): Well, he is 16 years older than you, and you still have a lot of growing up to do, and finding out what love really means.
Just take this as a word of caution. Sometimes you tell someone that you love them, and they won't leave because the feeling is mutual. You can be stuck with someone who loves you for a long, long, long time.
But, regardless of the words spoken, more likely than not he is simply infatuated with a younger woman, and you are infatuated with an older man. This is very common.
You really need to think this over and realize how tremendous that age difference is.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 August 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYes, Spanish is his primary language :) I've heard te quiero once when he was away a week and came straight from the airport to see me...and every time he soothes me to sleep...I got scared to say it back, afraid he'd pull away...
...............................
A
female
reader, YouWish  +, writes (20 August 2010):
 First question - is he Spanish or someone whom Spanish is the primary language? If so, say "Te quiero" back.
If it's not, then he's testing the waters to see if he does want to tell you "I love you". You say he has commitment issues? Hmm...that could be an issue if he's in his late 30's. You should not tell a man with commitment issues "I love you" first, because to a guy, those words ARE a statement of commitment, rather than the expression of emotion you mean them to be. "I love you" means an acknowledgement of a future together, certain behavioral requirements, and most of all, a permanence that can all scare the living crap out of someone with commitment issues.
Especially if it's been 6 months - that could be too soon for him. Remember, to you who's a lot younger, 6 months feels a lot longer than to him who has been around longer. He has emotional baggage. Be patient and see if he says "I love you" to you first. Not "ditto", "te quiero" (unless he's Spanish-speaking!), or "me too".
Trust me, you don't want a guy who has commitment issues in your life, or you'll be flat out wasting your time, and contrary to popular belief, the force of YOUR love will not bring about that which you want to hear from him.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 August 2010): if you love him you should tell him. I bet it has been a very, very, very long time since he has heard those words. I bet you are his only one to. :)
...............................
|
