| A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: How can I take a busy girl's friendship further into a potential relationship?~~~~~~In detail: She's the average, silent, "I am keeping to my work, and putting it first above all else" kind of girl. I know that she likes me, and her aunt has told me that "She really adores me." Her aunt has also told me that her father was struggling with some form of unavoidable cancer, died one day after her birthday. He promised he wouldn't die on her birthday, and he died one hour after her birthday. Because of it, I was told she might feel so damaged, she may never want to date anyone again.She even saved my life, and she still doesn't even know how she did, or even knowing she saved me at all. I was about to commit suicide an hour later, and she hugged me, because she missed my variety show act. I've always have held that in like a secret, for 4 years now, and more than anything, I've wanted to tell her.Most of the time, whenever I ask her for just a simple hangout, there have been a few times she was free, when she said sure, I would like to have fun with you, but then a hour/day later, then she said "I can't" and the reason why she couldn't. Lucky me, I am good friends with her cousin, and she really couldn't because she has certain family gatherings. Otherwise, he doesn't know much about her.However, the rest of the time, she's "swamped", and has a lot of work to do. I always get the feeling she wants to be with me, but she doesn't. This has been like this for 4 years now. Every once in a while, I stop at her workplace, and have fun with her, butI want to take this to a little higher level, and I am not taking "give up, and move on" for an answer, because she never gives up faith in me... even when I was about to give up my life. More than anything, I want to be with her, like, dating. Even if it's only a month. I just want to be with her. I want to be the one to hold her hand, and to protect her from anything that got in her way.So, how should I take this to another level? Even if it means failure doing so? How can I take a busy girl's friendship further into a potential relationship?There is only one wrong answer, and that's to "give up", otherwise, give me answers.Please and thank you.
View related questions:
cousin, move on, workplace Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, tennisstar88  +, writes (17 September 2010):
 You only what us to write what you want to hear, I say be more open minded than that. Really there is no right or wrong advice on here, you're on here because you need advice, advice is people's opinions what we would do if we were in your shoes...Ultimately, the decision is yours.
Now, she's the type of girl who is married to her work. Her work comes first before everyone and everything else, anyone else is second rate. It's all she has left and it keeps her from thinking about anyone such as her dad or anything else. She will always be busy, there is never going any free time for her. I'm sure she can make free time if she wanted to. Plus, it has gone on like this for 4 years...it's most definitely not going to change anytime soon. Since you want to try to turn this into a potential relationship it's best to tell her how you really feel. But I'm sorry at most she's probably going to tell you she's flattered but doesn't have the time for a relationship due to work. Even if there was a chance you could date her, you'd have to keep in the back of your mind you would always come second to her work.
A
female
reader, Oregongrl1 +, writes (17 September 2010):
Well dont give up faith on her give her the time she needs!
what it sounds like to me? and some woman go through it! when they lose their father and exspecially when they wer'e close and he leaves her behind it truly effects that person thats why she don't want to date you maybe shes afraid you will leave her too! thats why when you ask her if she wants to have fun! and she says yes then an hour later she changed her mind was because she thought about it but mostly an hour was enough time for her to get nervous and back out! i think that her fathers death really effected her. why don't you tell her what you told us about her saving your life! i thought that was so sweet be open and honest w/ her that is the only way you can get close and truly build a relationship! and another try to make her laugh and smile alot and when she goes home she will think about the day w/ you and how she enjoyed herself! just be you! don't give up on her only if you truly know that she doesn't want a relationship w/ you then yes move on.....
Best Wishes!
...............................
|
