A
female
age
36-40,
*ola2010
writes:i realy need someone's advice. i have been dating my bf for 2 years known him for 3. we were best friends before we start dating, and when we did, i felt as though i was the one who was more into the ralationship for about a year. after the first year he was realy attached and i could realy feel his love and we were closer than ever. i trusted him whith my wholeeeeeee life and put him before anything in my life.he was very caring and did everything for me. put me first in everything. i went on holiday not long ago and he called me and was crying because he couldn't take it, that i was gone and he missed me so much. he then got on the next plane and came on holiday with me, because he could not take the distance. the morning after he got there i had a look at his phone for a time and went through his messages, not expecting to find something.. i saw messages from an unsaved number, saying 'baby u left me, am gunna miss u. lov u' etc. and he had replied, 'dont worry baby, ill b bak soon' etc. he was also extremely drunk when he sent the messages.when i confronted him he begged for my forgiveness. he did try hard and said that he met her on the plane, and what he said were just words nothing more and am the one he loves. when in england he would come and see me at least 3 4 times a week, bearing in mind i live 2 hr drive away.i realy do not get why he would do this to me. did he realy meet her on the plane?He promises he did, and when in england we are very attached, and call each other a lot.he is always free and his phone is not on call waiting. i realy dont know what to do. things feel different he has begged for my forgivness but my heart is broken. i want things to go back to normal but i dont knw what to do or how to forgive him. can i move on. is it best to let go. i love him so much but i don't know what to doits realy affecting mei think about it all day and its affecting my studies, as i am in my last yeat in uni pleaaaaaase I really need help. What worries me most is: Would he would do it again? It's taking me back to the start of the relationship, when he wasn't so much into it. Is he a bit sneaky after all?
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female
reader, ToHereKnowsWhen  +, writes (19 April 2011):
 That phone message is a deal breaker. So what if he was drunk. Does he think he has an excuse for treating you less than you deserve because he was drunk? Is that any form of respect? Can you trust him anymore? Leave him to his phone woman and return your focus to your studies, particularly in your very important last year at uni.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 April 2011): If it was a casual meeting on a plane, im wondering why he promised her he would be back soon. Unless they planned to meet up again on the flight home, which is a long shot. Its more likely that he has lied to you about her and its not a stranger but someone he knows. With a two hour drive between you. And him being the one that travels to you, you dont really know what he might be doing back home. The messages werent even sex texts, which would have been bad enough. The messages sounded very affectionate. So they might have some feelings for each other. I would do as suggested and have a break, concentrate on your studies and let him think on things because he sounds like a player to me.
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A
female
reader, rememberthismoment_ +, writes (19 April 2011):
 If you really love this guy, call a 'break' in your relationship, let your boyfriend know that this behavior is not at all acceptable - tell him that you need time to think everything through and time for your uni work, seeing as it is your last year. Really think about everything he's done, while you're on a break he can't keep emotionally blackmailing you by begging for you back, so you'll have a clear head to think everything through. From there it is your choice whether or not you take your boyfriend back, just be happy eh? :)
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