A
female
age
30-35,
*ollegeCutie
writes:Im just starting a long distance relationship and i really want it to work. so im just looking for advice on how to keep it going for the long run. when i mean advice i mean how to keep things interesting even when you cant see each other what keeps guys interested when your not around.
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female
reader, BettyBoup  +, writes (12 August 2011):
 I was with my boyfriend over 3 years of Uni and will be going away for 3 months to have a mini gap year.
It is difficult, but it can work. If you really love each other you can make it work. I guess what you have to do is to accept that while you are apart you will lead separate lives and you will not be a couple in the truest sense. So if you are going to work long term there will have to be a goal point in the future when you will be together indefinatly and propperly. Otherwise, in my opinion anyway, it would be pointless to continue. Unless both of you are happy with a long distance relationship and don't want anything more. But I would assume most people would like a partner they could spend physical time with as well as physical affection.
So as well as having a time scale for when you can actually be together, there are many things you can do to keep in touch. The best is something we are really lucky to have these days, which is internet and video calling. We spoke every night on skype. Even if it's just to say goodnight I love you, it keeps you in touch with each other. It doesn't replace real interation but it's really nice to see each others face everyday.
Another thing you need to do is make sure you can meet up as much as possible. I went to stay with my boyfriend every holiday I got, so we were able to spend almost half of the year together. But be wary of this, don't expect things to be perfect, or how you remember them immediatly. It takes time to get used to each other again, in order to be fully comfortable being a couple. I found this difficult because I built up an idea of how wonderful things would be and thus had too high expectations. But don't worry, after a little time, things will get back to being how they were, and you get to fall in love with each other again as you get to know each other.
Ok, ways to keep it interesting... I sent little parcels with little gifts and cards that I thought he would like. He's not the type to reciprocate, but it was something I liked to do, and he appreciated the thought. Another idea is play games together. Either an online MMO or skype or msn messenger have games you can play together.
Most important thing - keep talking. Talk once a day or every other day, but keep talking about everything and anything. You have to keep in touch or you will drift apart. Also, have a laugh and a joke with each other. Be silly and joke with each other. This is important long distance or not. If you have fun together, you will want to stay together.
If you are sexually active, you could try phones sex or webcam sex. We never did this, apart from the occasional cheeky flash, but I'm sure a lot of people do. Send saucy pictures. Only do this if you are comfortable and trust your partner. You don't want such things ending up on the internet after a row or break up.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 August 2011): My boyfriend and I have been together for nearly 2 years :)
It's been long distance since about a year and a half ago.
We're pretty young so I'm really proud we've lasted this long.
To answer your quuestion, we try to talk everyday [video call on msn or skype] and we're still going strong! :)
Good luck ! I really hope it works out.
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