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male
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*ostinlove
writes: Hi peeps, I am really confused at the moment and could do with some advice so please help! :)I met someone at the beginning of July and had been chatting to him over MSN for a month or 2 before that, liked him then as a friend but also thought there may be a chance for more, met him a couple more times after that and chatted over MSN most nights. Then twice last week he asked me to go to a national fireworks competition and he said to text him if i wanted to meet when i got there, due to slight agrophobia i had a panic about the crowds and so didnt meet him. I told him that i went with my ex. He knows that me and ex are friends and he is fine with that. Last weekend he invited me over to watch a dvd, we watched a few dvds and ended up falling asleep during the 2nd one, went home in the morning (nothing happened if anyone is wondering), we're going to the cinema this week and I've invited him out this weekend with my mates. I wasnt sure if he was interested in anything more than friendship as he hadnt made a move or suggested anything. Now I've found out he doesn't find it easy to make the first move. Whenever he sees me he does smile a lot although I don't know if that's just normal. How can I discretely do something so that it's easier for him to make a move, or so that I can show I'm interested without the worry of embarrassing him or making him feel uncomfortable?
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female
reader, anon2907  +, writes (22 August 2006):
 Hey lostinlove!
You sound like you need Flirting 101!
- Tell him you enjoy his company
- physical contact is good, touch his arm, link arms (even better at the cinema you can lean into him to talk to him during the movie - quiet cos you'll have to whisper - if scary, hide towards him etc)
- offer to share popcorn/drinks/sweets etc
- pay attention to his little quirks and mention them when appropriate to show him you've listened.
Now, who told you about him being shy to make the first move? Him? If it was, that was him telling you (I think) he was interested, if it was a mutual friend, ask the friend if they think he's interested in you????
Good luck with it, (it sounds like you're already on the road to be honest, cinema and dvd nights sounds like dates to me !!)
Anon2907
A
male
reader, GermanGuyUK +, writes (22 August 2006):
 Hi there,
A very interesting post. I have read over it a few times and somehow feels that that both of you seem to be quite shy individuals. You didn't mention ages of yourself or the other person which may have something to do with it.
The other issue that may be underlying is a possiblity of the other guy maybe being somewhat unsure about his own sexuality.
To stop you guys playing cat & mouse with each other it may have to be you to make the first move by asking him what he is actually looking for. Maybe it would be easier for you to ask him that during your online chats and then elaborate in more detail next time you meet.
This way you can get a clearer picture, but I am not suggesting to make a direct sexual advance on him until you clarified the fronts first.
You aslo have to be sure that you can handle rejection in case he really just want to be friends not lovers.
Wishing you well and good luck.
Wolf
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