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female
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anonymous
writes: my boyfriend and i just broke up because we've been dealing with trust issues; dealing with my past. there are some things i am not ready to tell him... he is giving me a chance to prove to him that he can trust me.. but only as friends.. what are some ways to start building back that lost trust?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 August 2006): I saw this same quesyion yesterday.What is the big deal about your past anyways? The way you keep acting that there is a dark secret somewhere will scare anyone!!!
If you dont want to tell him and it has no present effect on your relationship then dont.Why would you let him know there is some secret in your past if you didnt want to tell???
Quite frankly, if the reason he broke up with you is because he thinks there is something of importance you are keeping away from him then the only way to regain back the trust he is looking for will be to tell him or stay his friend and look for someone you can love enough or trust enough to share your secret with .
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female
reader, Nay920 +, writes (22 August 2006):
If you really love this guy and you want him back then prove to him that you can be trusted by being his friend and showing him that your trust worthy he is going to want you back once he sees that you put in some effort.
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female
reader, camille  +, writes (22 August 2006):
 I'm a little concerned by the "there are some things I'm not ready to tell him". Why do you feel there's any reason to tell him anything anyway? It's your past. What has it got to do with your present or future? There is no law requiring you to disclose your every past move to your partner. Even mistakes. I would consider this very carefully. If you have done something in your past that didn't effect him at the time then he has no right to judge. If you have done something to him directly whilst being together, you need to start right from scratch and earning that trust will take time and that's something you can't rush. If you did all this before you met him, don't bother letting him give you the chance to prove that trust, (oooh that's very big of him!), move on and keep your past to yourself with the next. It sounds as if you're also beating yourself up over things you have done, so if you feel the need to unburden, try counselling.
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