A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:ok guys there is this girli think i love her, everything so damn great when im near her, its so fun when we are together. i feel that shes the i want to live with forever.but the problem is, i dont find her sexy at all.is this really love? if it is hows it gonna work without sex? or without finding her sexy? if this is not love, then what the heck is this? do i need serious help? talk to her or something? (shes not my gf just a regular friend i hang out with alot) Reply to this Question
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female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (23 January 2010):
 I call it puppy love. There is no need to think about future, she is just your friend. A relationship is not going to work without sex. How are you so sure you are not going to have sex if you two got married? Most women look sexy naked unless they are severely overweight. Maybe chemistry is the word you want to use here. She might interest you because the people around you are having problematic relationships, and you see people stuck in a relationship without passion.
I don't know what kind of guy would ask these questions but right now you are certainly interested in a platonic relationship right now.
Fun is essential in a relationship but a wife should also be your sexual partner, your emotional nurturer, your best friend, a child's mother, an event planner, etc.
You could not neglect any part of your relationship.
A
male
reader, empty-1  +, writes (23 January 2010):
Love - possibly. Only you can truly be the judge of that. I would caution you to be careful and patient with that judgement, but so far you seem to be doink ok in that department.
What it isn't, however, is lust. Don't confuse the two, as so many people do. There is a lack of animal attraction, chemistry, that physical sensation of being turned on by the sight of her.
That's ok, so long as you are frank and honest about it, and don't string her along.
You very well may love her very very deeply. That is not the same as saying you are "in love with" her.
OK, you're great friends, and you're sure you don't ever want to not have her in your life - sounds like GREAT best friend material to me.
For her sake, and yours, however, do not try to simply put aside the sexual part of your human needs in a misguided attempt to be romantically involved with her. If you care for her, you will be honest and not make her think that you think of her in that way.
Trust me - better let her be a little disappointed now, and remain a close and dear friend, than to try to make an unworkable situation fit only to utterly destroy her ten years down the line when you can no longer live without that animal lustful passion, and you go seeking it elsewhere - only to get caught and break her heart.
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