A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Me and my boyfriend have been talking for 2 1/2 years now. We have just started going out this year. But, recently he's been talking kind of mean to me. He has told me that I am not a part of his family. Any other guy would conside his girlfriend a part of his family and he would be happy to say it. He has also told me that he has to stop putting me before his family all the time.He has called my cell phone numerous times, accusing me of talking to someone else. During these times, my phone was off.He claims he is going to marry me. One day, he called me and asked me what my ring size was. I told him. He was like "...okay"It turned out he needed to borrow some money from me to go buy me a ring. I offered him some money. At first he wanted the money, then I offered it to him he changed his mind. Once this happened, he got an attitude with me. He said to me in a sarcastic tone, "If you want to buy me anything, you can buy me a case of beer and a pack of cigarettes"!!!Can I get some advice or some clues as to why he may be acting like this?
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female
reader, happytochat  +, writes (15 November 2007):
God knows why he is acting like this, but what I think I can confidently say to you is that he is emotionaly abusing you. He seems to lack respect for you. And you deserve respect and shouldnt accept anything else.
I would say the reason why he has only just recently became like this is because he feels he has you trapted maybe in this relationship? Usualy abusers show their true colours once they are confident that their partner will not leave them.
I suggest you check out this web site, http://www.dvirc.org.au/whenlove/
It will allow you to read about what makes a healthy and an abusive relatiosnhip, from that you can decide on your opinion of what is happening here.
Like someone else said, get now...the longer you stay in an abusive relationship, the more damage is done to you self esteem. Seriously how he treats you isnt right and you deserve alot more! No one deserve that.
A
male
reader, Collaroy +, writes (15 November 2007):
 Hi,
It really is very hard to tell why he is acting like this.
But one thing is for sure he is taking his problems out on you.
I think the only resolution here is for you to put your foot down, maybe a temporary seperation for a start.
This could be the start of a controlling behavioural pattern where he makes you feel bad about yourself then starts with "its all your fault" for everything that goes wrong. Then again it may not be. I'm only guessing here.
At the end of the day you need to find out where you stand. I would suggest you get him at a good moment and tell him that you are worried about his irregular behaviour and that your partnership should be between two people and if he respected you he would treat you accordingly. Alternatively you can write him a letter, its a great way of getting everything of your chest and you can articulate your feelings very well by this method. It also shows him that you are serious.
His behavioural change sounds like there is something going on in his life which maybe you arent aware of, but if he is not prepared to talk to you about it then you have to seriously consider whether you two have a future.
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A
female
reader, cristin343 +, writes (15 November 2007):
 I'm sorry to tell you, but this guy sounds like a loser who is going to use you and emotionally abuse you. Get out while you can, before your self esteem and emotions are damaged.
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A
female
reader, Shaniya  +, writes (15 November 2007):
I think you should dump him he should not be treating you this way you can better then that I wish you the best of luck
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