A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I have a low sex drive it's been suggested it's my age but I know I always have had this as sex itself has never been 'that' important to me ever so wonder whether it's just the way I am. I like men and would like a close relationship with someone special but always feel its all about sex if not immediately that becomes the expectation it seems to dominate thinking. Is there any way Im going to find a loving man who is ok with my naturally low sex drive. I enjoy close cuddles and am comfortable being naked. Does anyone else feel this way but gone out and found or achieved a good intimate relationship that is not involving much sex? I feel like a freak at times in society obsessed with sex.
View related questions:
sex drive Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2016): Sex drive depends on a lot of different factors and this is true for men and not only women.
There is nothing wrong with having a low sex drive, but it would be good to know if it is connected the loss of pleasure during sex, or a complete lack thereof. If this is the case, it would be a pity not to address the underlying issue(s) as it could raise a quality of life.
Having said that, it is possible to find a man with similar sexual appetites. But I would suggest being honest upfront.
A
male
reader, Garbo  +, writes (6 March 2016):
 Although sex is part of a relationship, sex isn't a relationship. So don't focus on sex. Focus on a relationship. Focus on meeting people first, on establishing connections so that within that connection you can find a guy with whom you can see what is important and what is not.
Sex is important to society because that is the best way to sell stuff to you. Relationship is not a sales event, so don't focus on sex.
Also, there are lot of men in your age bracket who, for variety of biological reasons, also feel the same as you on sexual scale. Lot of them, like you, fear meeting women because, like you, they think that they have to perform sexually first, then be whatever else.
So fear not. Look to put on your charm, and go out there focused not on sex but on a guy you like.
...............................
A
female
reader, MissKin +, writes (6 March 2016):
 My sex drive is weirdly high. It always has been. My first bf was the same and we had a great time, but it ended because it was the only good thing. My now bf has a relatively low sex drive (once a week at a push, but probably once a fortnight would be his ideal) and it is frustrating but I love him to pieces and you get to a point in life where sex isn't as important as all the other things in a relationship that make u feel amazing. So yes it is hard as I often want sex and know he won't, but we make it work and I've adapted to that.
So what ur looking for isn't impossible and would take Compromise from someone but lots of people have lower sex drives and I'm sure with the right person you'd be able to work it out.
I know this isn't directly advice but I'm just hoping that it shows you that sex isn't the be all and end all.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2016): I would say don't lose hope. I'm more than sure their are guys out there that have similar dilemmas. The key is finding a guy with low sex drive and not other sex related problems like ED. I'm guessing you want less sex and not no sex. You just might have to be patient finding a guy like that and be willing to be very open communication wise when its time to breach this subject. As a guy I can say that due to testosterone we really can't help the sex drive it just very hard to control when you have hormones in play like that. But even with you average guy theirs always room for communication and alternatives to sex if he is a guy who actually cares about you. So good luck.
...............................
|
