A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I've been married for several years. Its been tough - i was stuck in a job where I was underpaid and couldn't quit due to visa problems but I managed to double my salary by investing. While it wasn't a perfect marriege, it was still good and we traveled to over a dozen countries.I put my wife through college and we decided that 1 year after she started working I would take a year off to assess my life and career. During that 1 year, she faced a lot of stress at work and began to resent the fact that I was not working. One day she asked for divorce. She claimed that I wasn't working, didn't do any household work and that in the 7 years of marriege, she had only seen 4-5 days of happiness! I was shocked and I suggested we go through counciling before taking any drastic decision. She refused. I managed to stall her for nearly two months at which point she agreed to go for counciling.unfortunately, by then I decided it wasn't worth being married to her. She's stubborn, self-centered, prone to massive mood swings, brings up arguments from years ago, and occasionally insults me in public. I also see that she doesn't handle stress well and I can't imagine how she will cope having kids! 2 weeks ago she says she doesn't really want a divorce, which really pissed me off - I felt that she was just being manipulative. But now she's being extra nice to me all the time. But I no longer have any feelings towards her and I feel hollow inside. We're still physically intimate but I don't really feel that there is any point continuing the relationship.Can I fall back in love her or should I just move on?
View related questions:
at work, divorce, move on Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, drrbritto +, writes (29 May 2009):
You appears to be a good man and a hard working one, but what you seem to fail to realize is that even though she agreed for you to lay off work for a year, I am sure she didn't realize the burden that would be on her. One of her complaints is that you failed to take care of the house while she was at work, you know like cleaning, washing and cooking. If she had to work all day and come home to a second job while you are taking of a year to access your life and career I could see why she would become stressed and moody. You are suppose to love her as you love yourself, not get discusted with her because she is growing weary with all of the tasks and responsibilites. And expecting her to be hapy that even tough she is tired she should still feel greatful that you desires to make love to her tired or not stressed or not problems on her job or not, "just do your duties baby." A person don't fall in love. Love is a decison, that is you make a decision to love a person. And you are making a decision to not love her, because you are not prepared to deal with her issues. I suggest that if you ever loved her you can make a decision to love her again. Go to counseling, go to doctors, go to the Lord and get your marriage probles solved. Also, I didn't see that you listed any of your short comings. List and look at your your short comings as well as hers. You said that you were married three years and then you said seven. Regardless to how many years that you have been married you must remember that if problems arises and they will...get them solved, work them out and keep your marriage together if at all possible. If you choose another woman, how would you know that she won't have the same issues after so many years.God bless you I pray I have said something that will make you rethink.
A
female
reader, lavish +, writes (30 August 2008):
I wish that I would have some kind of answers to your question, unfortunately I don’t . I came in here seeking advice as well…how do we fall back inlove once we’ve fallen out of love? Can you really fall back in love??? I’m so confused. Let me know when you find some kind of answer …
...............................
A
male
reader, 2112EricYYZ  +, writes (30 August 2008):
 it apears to me that u want a good solid marrage with someone who can handle kids , not self centered , doesnt have mood swing and who handles stress well. u said she doesnt have any of those traits wich are key to a happy long lasting marrage. but u do have another option wich is to try to fall back in love believe me ALOT said than done. i find its nearly impossible to fall back in love with someone u realized all there flaws. so what would i do in ur situation is to ask her what do u think about kids ... wait for a reply if its not one that u like mark it as a point for a devorce test her on self centerdness its hard to do but u can figure out a way. if u realize shes still self centured then another point for devorce. and moniter her stress coping abilitys. if there no good thats 3 strikes. but if they are all good then it will be alot easier to fall back in love. truy not to make any rash desisions wait it out a little wile longer.
i hope this helps
---)(--)(--2112--)(--)(---
...............................
|
