A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hello there. I'm a 29-year-old married man with 2 kids.I've been having an affair with my father-in-law for the past month in secret.He instigated this affair, and I agreed to it - we were both drunk at the time watching a game of soccer on the telly. At first it was great, but now I feel it's a bit torrid.I feel like I should end it, but he always keeps bringing me round saying "Let's keep this discreet. Discretion is the better part of valour as they say!"We've had sex about 7 - 8 times now, and it's always been safe.I don't know why I've done this, and regret it.If I told my wife she'd kill me. The guilt is killing me but I feel I have to continue the affair.I've never had these feelings before for another man and feel dirty.I've had to lie to my wife and kids saying about extra work just to see him behind her back.The guilt is killing me and I don't see a way out of it.I feel disgusted and also disgust towards the man now.How can I ever get out of this tangled mess that he created?Mark
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 June 2009): plse do not listen to the last male advising you to have sex with another man but not your wifes father. really, now. citic 101, you are not serious?
A
male
reader, citic101  +, writes (30 June 2009):
 You ring him and say that its over and you love your wife and kids and thats it FINAL ........ if your wife found out or your kids your life would be HELL !!!! You DO NOT have sex with your father -in law ! Another guy ok but not your wifes father !
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 June 2009): Mark, please do not blame your father in law. at least have the balls to admit your active part in having sex with your father in law. you have been lieing/cheating/ betraying your wife, how could you do this to the very person you were supposed to love/honour and cherish. you, together with your father in law created this sordid mess. you f*cked up, big, big time. no one forced you to have sexual intercourse with this man, you willingly participated. no one is co- ercing you, you are not a child. you willingly took part in this sh!t. and you have to willingly end it. please if you have any male kids DO NOT let them alone with your father in law. ever. he may also try some on them. you have done such a shameful deed, you violated your home/marriage/wife. if you are gay then just end your marriage. not only are you a traitor/ cheater/adulterer you also have stolen your wifes years from her. i am sure she is also young. how about releasing her, let her find a decent faithful man. you obviously are not that. stop being so selfish and just end your marriage. your wife trusts you and her father. what do you do instead- you f*ck him behind her back. you are such a low, low person for doing this. if you cannot respect yourself how about having some respect for your wife and kids. for goodness sake your wife doesn't deserve this mess YOU have gotten into. your gay tendencies will destroy her but your gay sexual conduct with her father is beyond words. stop acting like a helpless drama queen. get your act together. you want this affair and you do not give a sh!t about hurting the very people that love you. guilt, if you had a conscious you would end your affair, but no , you just continue. your actions have consequences, its time to grow some balls, dry those crocodile tears and act like a damn man if you can. DO NOT BLAME THIS MAN, you have to accept that YOU f*cked up. whatever his moral value system is is not your problem. stop acting like this man's *itch. do you not care of your actions. well if you do THEN STOP the affair. NOW. otherwise you have just empty words and you will destroy, destroy, destroy until there is nothing good left in your life. stop lying to yourself and the people around you. in life we all make choices and your choice so far has been lies, compounded by more lies. how do you even look at yourself in the mirror. do you even know that stranger looking back at you? right at this moment your biggest concern should be for your wife and kids. you have violated them enough. the FIL has violated his daughter. what happened to you? can you even tell the difference between right and wrong or are you just so messed up that it makes no difference in your life. you are disgusted because you have become something that you cannot identify with. maybe making a mistake once , even twice is excusable but 7/8 times in one month- reveals that you wanted this. its time to stop babying about this mess. END YOUR AFFAIR WITH YOUR FATHER IN LAW. NOW. you hold so many peoples lives in your hand. you have messed it up until now. well now start doing something about the sh1t you have created. there is nothing wrong being gay. there is something wrong in you conducting yourself in a same sex relationship, while being married. why? you are selfish and self centred. divorce your wife, confide in her about your affair and do the one decent thing you can do, release her from this sham you call a marriage. after all you care nothing about it so why pretend. let your wife move on with her life. give her that choice but sadly you know you won't. why? because you are in denial and you want it all, even though you know what your actual sexual preference is. your wife doesn't deserve this trauma and turmoil you are about to unleash on her and the kids. you can still be a good father, but please release your faithful wife. her life is precious, she should not be seen as your second best. what a choice you have made. was it worth it, this betrayal? you already know the answer. right now, i wish your wife strength during this painful time you will bestow upon her and your kids. what did they ever do to deserve this. your sexual indiscretion will destroy lives and their precious lives mean nothing to you. it is evident in your actions thus far.it id time to show you have a backbone and stop making excuses. actions please.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 June 2009): He created? More like you created. You have a wife and kids and you should have known better than cheating. Blaming alcohol is poor excuse, if you get tendencies to cheat with alcohol then don't drink. You get out by cutting the affair...but you said you want to continue the affair?? Huh? I don't understand that. Then I guess you have to confess to your wife, which will probably destroy her and not sure about your kids but well. Or maybe not confess and stay miserable forever with her because I don't think yur wife and mother of 2 kids deserves that kind of punishment.
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