A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: Ok so here it goes almost 2 years ago i met a girl while my boyfriend( of three years) was out of province and she became my best friend we would stay up all night long chatting on msn and going on cam and goofing around and stuff we both had feelings so each other even though i did have a boyfriend i am bi anyways when i moved out of province to go be with my boyfriend i still stayed in contact with my girlfriend and that's when it went down hill.. at first it was great we talked all the time on the phone and everything but then my boyfriend started hitting on her and she started hitting on him at the time i had met this guy whom i started to REALLY liked eventually i left my boyfriend and moved back home to my home province with this new guy he lived in a different town so it was a long distance relationship so anyways since i met this new guy i hadn't been talking to my friend as much and my ex started to move in and they both kept it a secret from me that they were living together and sleeping together eventually i found out and stopped being her friend for a year now my ex left her because he said she was to much of a bitch and my friend and i started talking again she apologized and so did i after my boyfriend and i moved in together she wants it to go back to the way it was i do have feelings for her but i love my boyfriend i want to be her best friend again thats it and i DO want to forgive her completely but how can i? she wants me to stay up all night with her again and talk like we used to which won't happen i love my sleep now and i also have a real relationship now i need to maintain as well all my time can't be spent on being with her what can i do?? can i completely forgive her again? has our friendship been wounded so bad that it wont be like it was before?
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best friend, long distance, moved in, moved out, msn, my ex Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, michelleAKAmandi  +, writes (27 September 2008):
 Hey there,
Actually it seems your answer is sort of simple. I don't think it is a question of, "can you forgive her?". I mean, of course you can and should, however; the main issue here is the fact that you have found a life for yourself that makes you happy. The staying up all night is not what interest you anymore and with all that has happened, you've also lost interest in what she and you had. She will have to understand that your life isn't what it use to be and neither is the relationship between the two of you.
Forgive and forget... as hard as it may seem to do, it's the best medicine in the world for you.
So forgive her, give your present relationship "all" of you, don't stray from your love and keep friends only close enough to be just that... friends.
You have to make YOU happy, before you can make anyone else happy. Always remember that. ~wink~
I hope this helps, good luck and let us know how things go.
Michelle
A
male
reader, zelgamer +, writes (27 September 2008):
 I think time can heal your friendship, but it's good that you honestly have the attitude you have now towards your boyfriend, because that means you are being respectful to him. Keep your friendship and work on making it heal, and still hang out with her and stuff, but don't let it get heavingly involved with your romantic relationships.
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