A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm 21, and my family has been abusive towards me ever since I've grown up. My dad used to be physically abusive (though my mum divorced him when I was at uni, and doesn't see him any more), and my mum and elder siblings have always been extremely emotionally abusive too - putting me down, making me the family "scapegoat," you name it. I wasn't allowed any friends before uni either (strict Muslim family).I ended up having to leave uni after a few years, as I had severe depression once I got there, counsellors and whatnot were unsupportive (one counsellor even sent a letter intended for me to my home address, which meant that I had to lie and bluff to my abusive family after they opened it and very nearly got into trouble, despite me asking her only to send stuff to the term time one for good reason!), and I was bullied by my flatmates and struggled to even pass though I had gotten great grades in my A-levels. I could potentially go back, but it would mean another year, taking some resits and a ton of negotiation because my grades there were awful.So, right now, I'm stuck at home, even more severely depressed now that my family emotionally abuse me every day (even if I do something like eat something in the fridge without asking for permission, I'm told off like a 3-year-old for 5 minutes and called "selfish" and every name under the sun). They don't know that I dropped out, I told them I graduated as otherwise I'm scared of the consequences. I'm looking for work and am on JSA, but though I have a bit of past experience it's not much and I may have to volunteer or something before being considered for a job. Due to being forbidden friends before uni/depression during it I have literally no friends I can stay with, which means I need to start earning money before I can move out. But it's really difficult to get through day to day life with the constant emotional abuse at home. It's at the point where I am scared to be at home and my depression has gotten even worse. I'm not sure if I have PTSD, I get apprehensive every time a family member speaks to me as 75% of the time they will be trying to emotionally hurt me in some way.Please help. Can I claim Housing Benefit in my situation and move out? Are there any free helplines (I can barely afford credit for my phone, and am hanging onto what meagre savings I have just in case I have to leave home suddenly) I can call or people I can speak to about this?
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bullied, depressed, divorce, emotionally abusive, flatmate, money, muslim Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 September 2014): Yes, if you are on jsa you will be able to claim housing benefit. If you were to get yourself a one bedroom council or housing association flat you could get your rent paid or if you were to rent privately then they would pay for a room for you in a shared house. If you go to your local council office and speak to them they will tell you what you will be entitled to.
A
female
reader, celtic_tiger +, writes (13 September 2014):
 I would contact the Citizens Advice Bureau. They should be able to point you in all the right directions. It is free and confidential, so no one would need to know. Plus you can call or visit your local branch in person.
You need to get out. You are a grown adult, so "child abuse" is not something that would be considered. This is conflict between a group of adults. And as an adult you can choose to remove yourself from the situation. You just need to get advice on how to go about doing that.
Good luck!
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