A
female
age
51-59,
*ebeccahayes12
writes:i need some advice here.I have known a guy for the last three years. At first he was my boss and then i trianed and am now the same level as him and still work for thhe same company although a different location.when we worked together i never showed any interest in him and he was the same.As soon as i moved elsewhere he started texting me asking me if i enjoyed it. I thought nothing of it until his texts became more frequent and i helped him out at work and had to work with him again for a few days. He said he wanted to thank me and inbited me to lunch.Initially he backed out on a couple of occasions using feeble excuses.Eventually we did meet up and had a fantastic time together. we really connected as a couple.He has a reputation as a womaniser and i was well aware of this. when we went out everything was perfect he was the perfect gentleman and wouldnt sleep with me even though i wanted to. he has had major trust issues in his life and admitted to me that he runs scared with me.after a while he started to blow hot and cold often stating that his realtionship with me scared him as he was very used to one night stands and genuinely felt a lot for me but thought he would end up hurting me and valued and respected me too much to do that. sometimes i wouldnt hear from him for a few weeks at a time and then suddenly he would be in constant contact again. I have grown to love this man dearly and would do absolutely anything for him.he constantly keeps coming back to me saying that for my sake he tries staying away but i am the only one who he feels understands him and his issues. I need to make it clear in three years we havent slept together as he says he knows he would cheat on me in the end. He has said he has never felt emotion for anyone lkike he does me and a lot of his friends are surprised he keeps coming back thru as this isnt something he usually does. I know of a couple of people who he has dated for a shport time and sleeps with then dumps them.it doesnt make him sound very nice but it is his lifestyle..three years on and i am beginning to get over him until i have to contact him thru work again and then it all comes back... i just have to hear him speak and i go thru turmoil again.Can I believe what he tells me or is he just playing with my emotions? I cant help wondering when he has such a repution why he would never sleep with me...any help or an insight into his way of thinking would really help as i love him so much and beneath all this,he is genuinly a really tender lovely man
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at work, my boss, one night stand, text, womaniser Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, rebeccahayes12 +, writes (17 May 2010):
rebeccahayes12 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI think u are right i am besotted with him. I want him so badly. This man has broken me over time but i still worship the ground he walks on. Whether i feel flattered or a need to protect him from hurt i dont know. I just wish i could break through his barrier as if i could im sure we could be happy together. We are soulmates ans its such a shame he cant see through his issues. He has had several breakdowns in the past. He holds a responsible job and has everything in his life that he needs..except love........I have tried to get over him with other interests but nothing works.I have many friends and am always out but dont want anyone else but him and cannot move forward...just wish i could get over this...im hurting soo badly thrree years on
A
male
reader, Brunel  +, writes (16 May 2010):
Poor you I do not know what either of you want and why are you still waiting for whom or what –you must have been out with other guys?You are flattered by his attention and worse you are in love with him completely besotted – don’t see mention of that in your text?You must decide what you want – you can get sex with anyone without strings. If this guy is warning you off then perhaps you must be big girl now and tell him to’bugger off’ as you are up to be hurt.You must join a drama group, learn a language, go work in a charity shop or help with a special needs kids group. That is useful and will take your mind off all these problems that you are creating for yourself?
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