A
female
age
30-35,
*oconfused234
writes:Ok so I really love playing basketball. I am the New girl on the team I play on so everyone else has all this experience being on it. My boyfriend (Which i just made my ex but he doesnt know it) is on the guys team and he always tried to make fun of the new things I want to try and the fact that im just different. He always reminds me that im not the best one at basketball and of course I know that but im just trying it out and besides my brother and dad really want me to play so im giving it a go. The thing is Im known as a cheerleader also. The first day I walked into the gym, everyone looked at me like I wasnt supposed to be there. Like i was invading their family or something. The guys dont have a problem with me, just my "ex" and the older guys scare the hell out of me. The girls are welcoming but im just a really shy person but when i finally talk to people they love me but thats besides the point. I just might be the least experienced player on the team and I always embarress myself in front of everyone. There have been times where I would leave practice crying because i feel like Im embarrassing myself and people are laughing at me but the're not. Ive been practicing a lot and I have practice tomorrow.I dont even want to go. The point is I just want to stop being scared. I really dont care what others think but my ex just has me scared of what others will think because of all the things he says about me. I feel like I dont belong there but this is something I have to overcome. Can anyone please give me any advice as to how not to be scared on the court even though im not the best. I want to learn to fail with a smile on my face and not worry about others because i know im doing this to get better physically at the sport and emotionally. I really need some advice...
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 July 2012): "Can anyone please give me any advice as to how not to be scared on the court even though im not the best."Every winning basketball team has at most two or three stars, rest of roster consists of "role players" who do the dirty work, specializing in the unglamorous tasks that must be performed in order for the team as a whole to succeed. Learn to play without the ball, go to open spaces on the floor in anticipation of a rebound, stick near opposing players left unguarded by your teammates, learn to set picks to help teammates make baskets and box out to help teammates get rebounds, practice one shot from one spot on the floor and when you become proficient all you need to do is go to that spot and teammates will feed you the ball, etc. Don't worry about embarrassing yourself, focus on making your teammates and therefore team better. Only one basketball but five players on court. Identify some aspect of the game at which your teammates are deficient and fill a need. The NBA is filled with unheralded players who've enjoyed long careers because there's always a demand for defensive specialists, three-point shooters, or other such learnable, practicable skills.
A
female
reader, AuntyAlexxmo  +, writes (17 July 2012):
 Everybody is new at one point and they will all feel nervous but you just need to get past it, think about the fun side of the game and all the advantages instead of the bad or scary side.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 July 2012): Once he knows he is your ex, he's going to make things worse for you.
You need to make some friends and fast. Talk to the coach, or ask some of the other girls if they can helP you work on becomming a better player
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