A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey. I need some help.I’ve been talking to a guy on msn as mutual friends for over a year and I’ve fancied him since. He’s the first person I’ve proper liked. I didn’t see him much but by now I see him every day. There’s a problem though.We talk a lot on msn. He normally starts the conversation. Last night, we were up pretty late talking and he stayed on msn ‘til late just to talk to me despite wanting to go to bed. There are split seconds where we talk and it feels like we’re a couple (to me). The problem is that we don’t talk in person. We struggle with eye contact and hardly ever speak. He’s the shy type anyway but he seems to talk to everyone else. He seems to make some effort with me. I can’t help but watch him and I’m always aware of his presence and try to make a point of it but we just don’t communicate. It’s frustrating as it’s been months now. It would be very strange if we started speaking to each other. I don’t know if he also likes me but I doubt this very much. I don’t think he can be bothered with talking to me anymore but I think he knows it’s coz I’m shy. It’s just that I really like him. It’s my own fault for being too shy to do anything about it. Can anyone guess what’s going on in his mind? Does he actually like me? Should I give up on him? Help...
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male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (3 February 2010):
The best thing to do is to ask him to meet up in person and just get to know him a bit more, like whether he has a girlfriend or not. If he doesn't, tell him you like him and really want to get to know him.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 February 2010): Its been months since he talked to you in person, but you talk frequently on msn is that so?
Ask him on msn then, if he has a girlfriend. I think it sounds like he fancies YOU, but since both you and him are shy, coming on to him too strongly might weird you both out so much you wont even talk on msn. I mean you are both already too shy to talk to each other face to face. So try to get closer to him on msn instead, for starters?
When wanting to ask a boy out, a good technique will be to "hide" your true intentions. You want to know if he likes you? Ask him first if he has a girlfriend. See if he actually does like you, he will instantly think "I wish I had you as my girlfriend" and then be even more shy. So if he's reluctant to answer, or seem more embarrassed, chances are high he secretly wants you.
Although, if he does say yes, you should ask him who. Don't take his answer too seriously, he might be lying about having a girlfriend just so he wont be too embarrassed by the question. But if he says yes, ask who and get some information about her just to check that she's actually real.
If he says no, stay on topic! Ask more love-questions, like if he's ever had one. If he seems keen to continue talking about it, like he asks you the same questions, chances are again that he likes you. Here's some random questions to ask if you don't think of anything better "do you have a girlfriend? have you had many girlfriends? ever been in love? what do you like about girls, or what type of girls are you into?"
After a conversation like that, you two will be closer together (as its quite an intimate conversation to have), plus you will find clues about whether he's into you or not. If you feel that he is, ask him if he'd like to come visit some day, to play a videogame together or something else that you both enjoy. Make it all innocent looking (as in don't ask him this directly after you asked about his relationship-status).
When he does come over, you will have to talk face to face, which is a start. Also, if he does agree to come visit, he clearly likes you. So take it slow and don't make any advances, just enjoy his company, have fun with games, have a few snacks to eat or something. Do what feels comfortable to you.
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A
male
reader, caterpillarchapstick  +, writes (3 February 2010):
drop him a hint. if you already have then just try to impress him somehow. most likely he is unsure. guys usually are. try not to have any expectations. don't feel bad if he's not into you.
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