A
male
age
30-35,
*oolguy100
writes:I have this friend which I met over 4 years ago and back then she use to be really happy, kind, and such. She also never touched alcohol or drugs. Well 2 years ago when she moved to another city for college she completely changed. She drinks until she blacks out, she is always angry, and is completely wild. She has a boyfriend which happens to also my best friend and he is at a lost on what to do. I feel so sorry for him because he is a good guy and she treats him like crap. I was really close to her and she was like a sister to me. Our very last conversation with each other 3 months ago I told her I could no longer be her friend because she had changed so much. Well this pissed her off and she scorched me with all these comments about how im a delusional person, and told me I will never accomplish anything in life and really gave me a big serving of hate. Of course I know these things are not true and I chose to be respectful of the situation and told her thank you for being my friend for as long as you were and good luck in your future. I feel really sorry for her because she was such a good person and has become a real hateful person. Can anyone give me there thoughts on this situation and how to cope with the loss of a good friend?
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male
reader, coolguy100 +, writes (13 July 2011):
coolguy100 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for your answers but I believe its something else that's taking place. Our friendship is a really long story but we were very VERY close as best friends can be.I highly doubt there was something she didn't tell me because she even shared her sexual encounters and other things you don't tell other people with me. I did by her a web cam for Christmas and we skyped twice a week when she was away. I feel its the people she has been hanging around with,, they have influenced her to drink and ect. A year ago we had a big fight over the same issue and stopped talking to one another until last November. She says she doesn't care if she has changed and does give a damn what other people think and its people like this I stay away from. I just feel so bad because she never was like that.
A
female
reader, meccamega  +, writes (13 July 2011):
I say forget her, if she wants to act that way. If she doesn't want to talk to you or anyone, what else can you do?
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A
male
reader, Boonridge McPhalify  +, writes (13 July 2011):
 people are their current actions. she may have a problem with alcohol but then again sometimes you just have to move on fro a person who treats others badly.
lots of friendships have sell by dates and its never the ones you expect.
sad but true.
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A
female
reader, natasia +, writes (13 July 2011):
 Well, I guess maybe you ought to find out what is happening with her, if you really are her friend, even if she is behaving badly now. Or at least her boyfriend needs to.
Such a big change sounds like it is to do with the drinking, but there probably are other problems as well.
Maybe the best way would actually be to call her back (or, better still, see her), say you were sorry you said you didn't want her, but she had just upset you so much, and just try to find out what is going on with her.
She was your friend - you feel she has let you down - so don't let her down as well. That is what I think. Help her, if you can. Sometimes people are beyond repair, but I think you might be able to help her.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 July 2011): well, in my opinion, you what you needed to say to her and she didnt want any of it. so i say forget about her. im in a similar situation with my best friend, except i love her and she has a boyfriend and we dont even talk anymore because shes living with him now. we used to talk every single day for months. but now i just dont care anymore. youll get over it, trust me.
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