A
male
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anonymous
writes:I'm at university and like most people I'm interested in dating/having a relationship.The problem I have is that I always talk myself out of it by making some excuse (I'll wait until Uni, After freshers week, i'll start dating once i've organised where i'm staying in my second year etc.). Everyopne keeps saying just ask a girl out but they don't realise how difficult it is for me to ask girls out. I now know that it is because I'm scared that all my attempts at dating will fail and end in nothing. That and th fact I'm a boring person because I genreally can never keep a conversation going for a long time as I have run out of things to say.Can anyone give me some advice as to how to boost my confidence to ask a girl out?
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 September 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionbut I don't know of anyone confident and if I do, they act the same as me.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2007): ok, first of all you are putting way too much pressure on yourself. no wonder you're scared! you're making it such a big drama in your head when its meant to be fun. you need to find a girl you get on well with and have things in common with - that will eliminate the problem of conversations running dry and of her thinking you are boring.
when you meet someone you have fun with and get on well with, you can kind of tell if they are interested in you. its hard to explain how but you just can. so ask for her number, or if she wants to hang out sometime and just do it. it doesnt have to end up as something and sometimes you will date girls and it doesnt lead to a relationship but you had a good time and fun with someone cool. thats all it needs to be.
girls are attracted to confidence. not arrogance, but confidence. so if you dont have much of that right now, you need to fake it a little bit at the start. think of someone really confident and try to mirror how they stand, how they speak and their mannerisms.
good luck
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2007): I once knew a chap who had an amazingly successful technique, albeit a rather crude one. He'd see a girl he fancied, go up to her and whisper in her ear "Fancy a f**k?". He assured me that he had a 20% success rate and could cope with a clout round the face 4 times out of five.I can't recommend this technique very highly though.
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A
female
reader, leanne.od +, writes (21 September 2007):
 yes, first of all, you need to know that girls talk for england, they don't shut up, so you'll have no problem about holding a conversation because she'll not let it run dry.
finding the confidence is trickier. you need to think of a girl like a friend, and not as a future partner because it's less intimidating. when you ask a girl out, don't let the fear of rejection stand in your way, everyone takes knock backs but the secret is to not let them keep us down. if a girl says no, don't dwell on it, it's her loss.
i'm sure you're not a boring person, you must enjoy doing things? take up a hobby, sports, volunteer work, or something that you can meet a girl who shares some intersts so you have moral ground to start on. when you find a girl you like, ask her out for a drink/movie or alike.
you need to be confident in yourself because if you think you'll fail, you will!!
good luck
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