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age
51-59,
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writes: Hello. I do not know who to turn to about this and am hoping someone out there can give me some advice. My best friend is a gay man. We are very close. We spend a lot of time together and we both truly love each other and have said so numerous times. I have always been romantically attracted to him. He is not the typical gay man. He is very strong and if you do not know him, you would never expect that he was gay. He was married a long time ago and was deeply hurt by a woman and has 3 children with her. Since then he has been in a long term committed relationship with a man. Things are not going well between them. My friend told me that when they break up he wants to become straight again. I do not know what to do. I think we have fallen deeply in love. Lately when he touches me, I get butterflies. Can a straight man really turn gay and then straight again?? I am afraid that I will never really be able to be what he needs. Please help.
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 October 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi again. Thanks again for your input. Things unfortunately aren't much better in my life. I have been spending a lot of time with my co-worker/friend. We have been doing overtime together and spending 14 hours a day together. Other people at work are talking about how they think we are a big item which is just making things worse. He is still with his boyfriend and I refuse to tell him how I really feel about him because it would be like breaking up a marriage. I would never want him to chose between me or him. We have a chemistry you just don't find anywhere and continue to get closer and closer. I see it he sees it and I am sure everyone we work with sees it too, which is why the rumors are flying. This sounds sad but I am happy being his friend. I have to respect the fact that he is committed to his boyfriend and is not a cheater. He is such an awesome person. I know he loves me and he has told me that often. I just now need to wait it out and see if eventually he could possibly be in love with me. He has dropped a few hints about a future with me lately and I tried very hard not to react. Should I just tell him how I feel and risk his relationship and our friendship?? Is it worth it??
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 September 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionTisha...I am actually not really sure. He has really thrown me a loop lately. I always knew how I felt about him but loved him way too much as a friend to ever tell him how I feel. He just put this on me the other day. I have now brought it up because I have respect for his boyfriend. He would be devistated if he knew about our conversation. He has always told me how beautiful I am and that he would date me if he was straight and now he tells me he is thinking about going straight again. This is nothing I would ever just rush into. I would never want to lose him because I love him way too much. Thanks so much for your quick responses. I never wanted to turn him straight. We have an unbelieveable chemistry between us. I have no clue where the future will lead us. I never though this would happen. I am really in love with a gay man. Who would have ever thought. Thanks again. I will let you know how or if it goes.
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reader, gdas2hearts  +, writes (17 September 2010):
Maybe he's just bi! Or he's curious. I have a lot of family friends who are gay but at one point a friend of my mothers, lets just call him Bob, fell in love with a woman, and theyve had children adn lived very happily since. So I guess it could happen, nothings impossible :)
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female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (17 September 2010):
 There's no typical gay male, they come from all walks of life and don't by any means look a certain why. Some are masculine such as the one your describing, others are metro sexual with a little more femininity, such are drag queens, others cross dressers. Of course you're going to be attracted to a gay man, they're sensitive, considerate, and well dressed. Now his marriage could have fell apart due to his sexual preference. Hence this long term monogamous relationship with this other guy. Either he's gay or he's confused. Being gay isn't something you can just flip on and off like a light switch. Also if he's the same age range as you, it's a little late in the game to be confused. No, you can't turn a gay guy straight. He likes dick not vagina, sorry but you haven't got what he wants.
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reader, DanceInTheDark  +, writes (17 September 2010):
 People don't 'turn' straight or gay, if he's straight, he's straight, if he's gay, he's gay, you can't change it.
He may want to be straight again, but if he's gay, all he'll have is denial.
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reader, xanthic +, writes (17 September 2010):
 He's not entirely gay, he's likely bisexual. If things don't work out with his current relationship, find out where things lie between you and him. You'll never know how things might have turned out if you don't at least give him a chance.
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reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (17 September 2010):
 What made him say that he wants to be straight again?
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