A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I haven't had sex yet, but I always knew I was gay. I've been trying to find the right guy, but couldn't all this 10 years. Last year I met this guy and when he noticed I was always avoiding sex he got himself checked and unfortunately he's positive. I couldn't let him go, he doesn't know I'm a virgin, and it's been a year and still I can't have sex with him now and it is because I'm afraid to get infected, even with protection. I made him believe that sex's been painful to me in the past and he accepts me. Can a relationship last without sex? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, aaringurl  +, writes (25 July 2011):
Dear anonymous writer,
You're situation is one of the plots I'm planning on writing about.
I salute you for keeping firm into not having sex with him because he's positive. You can't give yourself away just like that. You also need to love yourself, and think about yourself. Because, what if, in the long run, you've given yourself to him, then you got infected but you two just broke up. See? It'll be such a waste of emotion plus you got infected too!
So what you're gonna do is, stay firm. See where your relationship will go. Pray for the best, and when you realize, this is the guy I'm gonna spend the rest of my life with, even me, I'll risk it all just for him because I love him. Okie?
Goodluck!
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (24 July 2011):
 I don't know if a relationship can last without sex... the question is more: can YOU last without sex? Do you want to always go without, your entire life without knowing how it feels to be so close and intimate to anothe person?
What is this infection? Is it something you can live with without any major inconvenience? Then perhaps you are using this infection as your excuse not to have sex, while the infection itself isn't the problem. The problem sounds more to be that you are scared of sex.
Dare something, and live life with no regrets. If you want to continue never having sex, ask yourself if that is truly what you want, and then ask your partner if he can do the same. Then you will know if your relationship can last without sex.
But, if you love someone, and the infection isn't deadly like HIV... then normally people wouldn't care too much. We all get down with something in life without it being the end of the world, and your boyfriend has to carry this all his life and he isn't jumping off the bridge even so. Is your fear a rational one? And, what exactly are you afraid of, intimacy, or an infection?
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A
female
reader, VSAddict +, writes (24 July 2011):
 If you two really love each other and value the things you do together that aren't sexual, then I think it could last. Tell him how you feel. It might offend him, but he deserves to know why you refuse to be intimate. If he cares about you more then his sexual needs, then it could possibly work. But if this is a big deal for him, then maybe you two shouldn't be together. But tell him how you feel and see where he stands. Hope I helped.
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