A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Can a person find love if they suffer from anxiety and depression?Hi, I am a 25 year old male who suffers with anxiety and depression. My main goal in life is to sort out all the problems I have and get my life back on track.Because I have been let down a lot in the past I had to deal with so many problems I do not know where to begin. When I was at school I was bullied and occasionally beaten. However, as many people in my position would have told somebody about what was going on I did not. I thought I could deal with the problems myself, however, I could not and it is a regret I still live with today. The bullying did not stop after school, it continued to go on through college, even my first job.When I left my first job and started at my second job, the bullying stopped. However, I became so insecure by then I suffered with paranoia and panic attacks because I constantly worried about what people thought about me. After that job ended I just did not have the courage to find another one so I shut myself off from the world. I got depressed, moody and just ate and ate. I also would not talk to anyone at that time, even my own family.After nearly a year of not doing anything with my life I realized I needed help, I do not know how I managed it but I went to see the doctors and told him about my problems. He then referred me to the mental health clinic, however, they felt I was not that bad and they referred me to I.V.S. the Independent Visitors Scheme and they paired me up with a volunteer once a fought night just to get me out of the house. When I first started going out I really found it difficult being around public crowded places and my panic attacks got worse. A while after that I decided to do a computer course.Although I feel I have a long way to go I manage to work two part time volunteer jobs, as I am on incapacity benefits. And I am looking forward to one day having a full time paid job. Right now though I am just taking one day at a time.I have also decided to go and see a counsellor and have just recently started seeing them for one on one sessions and then group therapy with people who have been in the similar position as me.It has also affected my love life, in fact I do not even have a love life thanks to my anxiety and depression. I often wonder if I ever will. It has also affected my sex drive as I am still a virgin and have never been interested in sex. I know you will say that is because of the medication I am on, but the fact is I am not on any medication. The doctor felt I did not need it. Will my sex drive come back? Will I be able to have a love life as I am not interested in sex and suffer from anxiety and depression?
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female
reader, hj87  +, writes (2 July 2007):
 You are not alone in this situation. I know how you feel. I had the same case as you. At school I was bullied too. From elementary all the way up to highschool. People would laugh at me for no reason, talk behind my back, criticize me, and just made my life terrible. I do suffer from depression and anxiety. At school I was very shy, very quiet, didn't like to speak or make presentations in my class because I cared what others thought about me, and by middle school I was a bit paranoid. Even right now I still feel very nervous and a little bit paranoid. I don't have much confidence, but now I just try to overcome it and moveon. I feel a little better when I talk out problems with my sister. That makes me feel loads better. Those people who were mean to me were probably jealous of me, insecure with themselves, trying to make themselves feel better by putting their problems on me, there lifes were probably lousy and their relationships with family/friends are not good, and it looks like those people were trying to bring me down to their level by making me feel how they were feeling. I won't let that take control of me. I just think of my family and the people who love and care about me. Those are the people who counts. Not the bullies! If people make bad judgements about me I just let it bounce off of me, and not think about it or take it seriously. If you take things seriously it will bother you. If you don't take things seriously it won't bother you. Don't let it affect you, and don't take it seriously! Of course a person can find love if they suffer from anxiety and depression! Even though I still suffer from a little anxiety and depression I can find love. I have crushes on guys whether if its a celebrity or a guy at college, work and etc. But I am just too shy to approach them! I hope this helps! Email me if you would like to chat more, have questions, or problems that you have. I like to help people and give them advice on anything! Goodluck!
A
female
reader, maryA  +, writes (2 July 2007):
 hey, listen i have been in the same situation as you, and believe me it can get so much better! i was always very shy and as a result got bullied at school wich left me very withdrawn and parinoid. when i left school i got really heavily into hard drugs for five years. the drugs gave me the confidence i craved so badly for a few hours but multiplied the parinoia for days afterwards so id take more drug to get me happy again. after a few years the drugs diddnt work with the disired affect anymore an i hit an all time low an wanted to die! at this point i decided something had to be done. i told myself i was the same as other people and that the world wasnt out to get me. even if i didnt believe it. i tried to pretend i was a confident person and in time i started to feel better about myself. i had contat with my family again and got myself a job, which was very difficult but i forced myself and now im so glad that i did. at this job i met my boyfriend and now we've been together four years and have a little girl. so what im tryin to say is, the only person who can help you is you! it may sound cheesy but go out get some nice new clothes and a new hair cut just pamper your self and most of all smile! i used to smile at myself in the mirror an wish i could do it in the big scary world without worryin what people think. you know what its your life dont waste it worryin what other people think live for yourself! i know how hard it is but believe me it can be done i know you can do it, i did good luck!
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A
male
reader, leonard j.Douglas  +, writes (1 July 2007):
Can I find love suffering from Anxiety and depression? Can A leopard change it's spots? Sure you could find someone who would like to love you in a mothering way. But to receive love you must be able to give love, I don't mean just the sexual asspect, because love is much, much more than that. I have worked with lots of teenagers who have had their heads screwed on backward, and most Counsellers and also Group therapy session did little more than feed into the teenager's problem. Sure you had one Hell of an early childhood. Do you think that any of us were given a rosegarden, or born with a silverspoon in our mouth's. You are on a self-pity trip, and only you can change that "Poor Me" into "The Jesus Story", I'm sure you have heard of him. His childhood wasn't much different than your's and neither was his young adult life. He didn't go on a Piy-Trip like you nor did he lose his self-love and love for others. You on the other hand have lost both the normal,healthy self-love and the love for others. You know how to operate a comp, so you know what you feed into it is what you'll get out of it, right. AS they say,"Garbage In Garbage Out". Your brain is the finest Comp. in the whole world. And you're feeding That Compt, your mind, the garbage of anxiety and depression. You can Program your brain just like you Program your COMP. If You tell your brain that you are a pile of dung that's how the brain will see you. It takes in what you feed it, and moves that Info.into your everyday reality. Welcome to the reality world of your own choosing.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (1 July 2007):
 Yes, man, as long as you keep trying. You know, your problems are not that uncommon. You will need a lot of will power to overcome your problems, but that's the good part of it, if you care to see it this way: You'll achieve a lot more than people usually do, because you'll be able to live a normal life even though you are carrying a much heavier weight.Keep your spirits up! Work hard and you'll see the results. It might take time, but you will, provided you don't lose heart.
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