A
female
age
36-40,
*aira_R
writes:Dear Cupid,For the past two years i've been involved in a long distance relationship with a guy who could very well be the reason for the word 'player'.In the past I've had suspicions that he's cheated on me and a year ago he even left me for my cousin before they broke up and I eventually took him back.We got back together after he managed to persuade me that he's changed and that he's serious about marrying me, something we now plan to do next year.And while I have no doubt that he's serious and he has in fact changed, recenly it was confired that he cheated on me in the past.I found out after he gave me his email password and I checked his emails.I know I shouldn't have, but I found messages that confirmed he cheated on me in the early stages of our relationship.I know we weren't that serious at the time, but I can't stop thinking about it, and wondering if I should after all, make so many sacrifices by moving to another country just to be with him, when there's a possibility he could cheat again.So what I want to ask is, can a leopard ever change it's spots? Should I forgive him and if so, should I let him know I saw the messages?
View related questions:
acne, broke up, cheated on me, cousin, got back together, long distance Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, scrazy  +, writes (15 June 2008):
 I never recommend long distance relationships because there's that TRUST factor. You never really know if he's being honest with you or not.
But if you really love him and you truly believe that he can change (I'm sorry, but I don't, once a cheater always a cheater - especially if you keep taking him back and letting him get away with it.) then go ahead.
But my real advice?
Leave him and find someone who's really going to make you happy and you feel that you can trust him wholeheartedly.
A
female
reader, Saira_R +, writes (15 June 2008):
Saira_R is verified as being by the original poster of the questionFirst of all thanks for your reply. You're right - no one knows the full situation, so I'm the only one who can figure out what to do. I guess I was just looking for someone else to make the decision for me! It's just hard when you've forgiven someone so many times, and you're just scared that he will take you for an idiot and do it again. People need to know that there are repercussions to thier acitions, right?I have since decided I need a bit of breathing time (away from him) to think about what to do.I've also decided that I will tell him everything in an email, because I just cant bear to speak to him right now.
...............................
A
female
reader, c3c3znumba1  +, writes (15 June 2008):
only you know the answer to that question because yes people can change but only you can know whats really going on
...............................
|
