A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi,My question is very simpleCan a guy whose never been on more than two dates with a girl,never had relationships only flings and never said 'I love you' till date change?There is this guy I'm seeing,we r not having sex,he asked me out and we have been dating!I'm just scared to be playing with fire? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, perilux +, writes (13 May 2013):
I agree with Zippy78 and especially anonymous. Men rarely change unless they want to change. Nobody new is going to change that. Also I would add that if want him to fetch you that proverbial glass of lemonade as Eddie85 says he would do if he loved you, it would be best to have him fetch you that glass before you have sex with him. Hope this helps.
A
male
reader, eddie85 +, writes (12 May 2013):
 Men do change, in my opinion. I am certainly not the man when I was when I was in my 20's -- close in some regards, but different in many ways too.
At your age, though, most of them are players -- especially if he has a track record of bedding women and then moving on. Perhaps though he is looking for love and hasn't found it. Like everyone else, he may be dating different people to see what he likes -- and what he doesn't. If this is the situation, you could be the one that he finds a keeper. However, if he is in it just to sow his oats... then you had better leave him.
You may be playing with fire in this case but as with all dating situations, you should proceed with caution. Take your time and be patient with yourself. Exercise caution before jumping into a sexual relationship. If there is any doubt, simply don't sleep with him.
Here a clue: A man who is simply in it for sex won't wait through many dates but a man who genuinely wants to be with you and has strong emotional feelings for you will. One of my definitions of love is a man who will walk through a desert to fetch you a guess of lemonade.
The question you must answer for yourself is, which type of man is he, will he fetch that proverbial glass of lemonade, and do you want to take the risk to find out?
Eddie
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 May 2013): Through my personal experiences and experiences of my girl-friends is that men that are into the fling scene and have been doing it for extended period of time never really change. They are what they are. The only time they are going to change is when they are to old and nobody will have sex with them. Then they can join the disillusioned house wives and cougars at bars every Friday and Saturday night looking for that magic spark which nobody will give them and then they are the first ones to bitch and moan about their circumstances to every one. Truly a sad situation. There are going to be a awful lot of men and women over the age of 45 who wont be able to dupe or lie their way into a bed for the night. Don't waste your time, money and your heart on a person as such. It never ever works out in the long run. Your going to get hurt because all he wants is somebody who is stupid enough to believe that they think that they can change a man or woman like this. It is not going to happen my dear. Good-luck..
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