A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've always thought that looks are perhaps 90% and personality is just there like bonus points, so I never thought a good looking girl would ever seriously like me. To break it short though: I met my cousin's cousin (my age) and she seemed to like me, I thought she just thinks I'm funny but she really wanted to be near me most of the time and laughed and even my most stupid jokes (when no one else did), I even "caught" her staring and me and looked her in the eyes too though I always was the first to break eye-contact in some way that was funny (at least she laughed) but also very stupid. Well now she isn't here anymore and only later I realized that she might have actually liked (romantic meaning) me and not just found me funny. I feel so depressed now because it didn't even occur to me when she was here. I would probably not have asked her out but at least I would have tried. Now I feel like such a big idiot who lost a really big chance (she was indeed very pretty) and I really can't get in the mood for 2 days now. But the most depressing thing is that I will never know if she really liked me and I blew it or if she didn't like me at all and I'm being stupid now (which is sometimes even worse when I think how I can't get anyone to like me)Please tell me what you think, did she like me or is it very unlikely because I don't look good at all. And what the hell should I don know?
View related questions:
cousin, depressed, in the mood Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Mark_25_  +, writes (4 July 2011):
 Don't feel down about it, I'd say she liked you from what you've said. So do something about it. As has already been said, ask your cousin for her number, or her full name so you can add her on facebook. If she does like you, she's probably really hoping your going to do something to get in contact with her. Really, do it, because the worst thing is regretting a missed chance, believe me, I know.
I wouldn't worry too much about thinking your unattractive, 95% of people aren't happy with their appearance or something about them. I was the same at your age, I really didn't think I was that attractive. But when I've been on that sort of topic when talking to girls, I've been told I'm cute. Everyone likes different things about people. I'd agree that around your age and younger most people care about looks. But, there are some decent people about that care about what actually matters - personality. At school age you don't really get noticed if your a nice genuine person because dating in school is all about popularity etc. But from now on, everyone starts to mature a bit more, and girls will see you for more than appearance.
I hope that helps, and get in contact with that girl! :)
A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (4 July 2011):
 Look, I'm sure you are not ugly, as a teenager you can often feel you dont look great because your body is going through a lot of changes and it can be an awkward transition. But you wont be ugly - it is very rare to find a person who has nothing attractive about their features at all! Dont put yourself down so much, if a person is very negative about themselves then that is far more unattractive than any bit of their body!
As for how important looks are when dating - I would say at the most it is 50% looks. You can have the most attractive man on earth but if he is boring and cant make me laugh then I dont want to know! I personally like a guy who is very smart, engages in interesting conversation, has lots of interesting hobbies, has lots in common with me, makes me laugh and who has great manners. If a man has all that (which I am yet to meet!) then I really wouldnt care what he looks like (well I might draw the line at the elephant man!). A connection with someone is so hard to find - there are millions of incredibly attractive people out there, but most really attractive men are stupid, arrogant and boring.
I once dated a guy who nearly met all my criteria above, but looks wise was not great - he was slim but had a big nose, bad skin and had gone bald at an early age - but I really didnt care! His personality and dress sense made him so attractive to me that I found his looks cute and it made him even more attractive to me.
So I promise you - while looks are useful, after all if there is no physical attraction then it is never going to work - they are not really that important, and attraction can grow based on personality. So dont worry about looks - I'm sure you are not that bad, plus girls want more than just a pretty boy!
As for your girl - sounds like she did like you! If she is your cousin's cousin, then cant you ask your cousin for her number? Or do you know her surname so you can add her on Facebook? Get your cousin to help you out, I'm sure there will be a way of contacting her. Just start off by chatting, saying how nice it was to meet her etc and how you had a really good time. Start of talking and see how she acts, if she responds quickly and asks you questions to keep conversation flowing - then you will know if she is interested or not.
I hope this helps and good luck!
...............................
|
