A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi there.I have a problem right now. Recently I moved in a flat sharing with more people and after 5 months living here I have a question about my flatmate. We have become like soulmates, we spend 24 hours together and we love it, it is just happening because even if we try to do things separately we end up doing everything together..and we look for everyone as a couple because we do shopping together, we cook and eat always together, etc. That is happening in the house and it could be just 'normal', but apart from that we do go out all the time together with friends, or only the two of us. Most of the time we walk holding hands. He is really nice and he is always taking good care of me. He is really sweet and he is always hugging me and we even have kissed a couple of times, at the beginning we just did when we were drunk, but now we kiss sometimes without reason.I think I could fall for him and this would be great and probably the beginning of something else but he is gay. He is dating all the times gays, just for a couple of hours on nights when I don't feel like doing any plans. And he's having sex with them.He has made a few comments about becoming straight again as a joke, and he flirts a lot with me, but usually just kidding. We talked about having a threesome at some point as well.We talk about everything but I don't want to talk about this because probably it would make the situation more weird and I am not even sure of my feeling but my question is if all this is normal and if a gay guy can fall for a woman?He had a couple of relationships with women when he was young but now he only dates men.
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female
reader, chickpea2011  +, writes (12 December 2011):
 Hi,
Yes I think he really likes you and enjoy being friends with you. Yes, a gay guy could have feelings for a woman, you even mentioned that he used to date women before he realized and admitted he's gay.
But you have to understand that he's gay and he will always be gay, because that's who he's. If you both decided to become intimate, will be a FWB kind of relationship. It will never be a normal, exclusive relationship. No matter how much he likes you, enjoy each other companies, I think he will always and forever be attractive to men.
Good luck/best wishes
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2011): Hi I understand your situation but believe it or not I actually think your friend might be straight, here's why.You mentioned that he's had relationship with girls before right and he flirts and kisses you plus the jokes about becoming straight. Men like your friend are hurt indivuduals who lost faith in women and turned to men. Its like your best friend doing the worst possible thing to you and then the next day comes over and wants to hang. Now of course he wouldn't want to hang with this friend anymore but the friend is just their not caring much about what you think. The friend represents the past women in his life who hurt him and him not speaking to the friend represents the anger and bitterness he developed towards these women hence becoming gay. With you in the picture it gives him the chance to flirt and stuff but I can bet that if you went one step further hed push you away because you fall in the category of the friend who never apologized and never will, because all the women in the world can't say they're sorry for his issues its just something he has to deal with himself. That aside there is a way you could win over. You have to truly go the extra mile to let him know just how much you care about him...I mean romance novel extra mile, I mean make him cry extra mile.Your average woman doesn't usually go the extra mile for a guy because they're always waiting for him to make the first move. Every guy has walls when it comes to women, I just believe that gay guys have even higher walls and if a woman were to come along with the guts willing to break down those walls I can assure you that she can get any gay guy she wants because that would be the closest thing to an apology. Now a lot of girls would say no way that's way too much work and move on, that's why gay guys falling for woman isn't a hot topic in our society because a lot of women don't believe in stepping up. Now the question is, is he worth the trouble? You're going to have to be pretty relentless. Girls always dream about being saved by a guy, but sometime want to be saved too.How would I know you might ask, I lived it. Hope this help much! Let me know how it goes.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2011): He is Gay and he is dating other gay men. So No he can't be more than your best friend. Maybe he is a bit bi, but it seems from your post that he is definitely gay, and that means there is no future beyond friendship. I suggest you protect your heart against falling for him more than you already have, and accept that all you can hope for is to remain the best of friends. Sorry if this isn't what you really want to hear but it's the truth. Good Luck.
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