A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi there,So is it possible? My ex and I were once really in love. He broke it off more or less because we started to argue (once it was long-distance for a few months). We then took a few months away from each other. I thought I'd lost him for good, but in the last little while he has started to come aound again, and I've found myself in a friends with benefits situation with him. It felt good at first. I never fell out of love and the only reason I'm in this situation is because he's the first man I've fallin this hard for. The first bit, I was in shock that we were together again and loving every moment of his company... until I realized that I don't know the status of what we are. I'm sure he's nervous. To admit, I am too, so I'm willing to take it slow, and I'm told it just takes patience...but at what point am I just being unfair to myself? This guy has a bit of fear of commitment and also doesn't deal well with a lot of emotion. It concerns me that when he broke it off with me it was when things got tough. Relationships are a lot of work. Do you think he's just being careful before jumping into a relationship again? Or maybe he is just one of those guys who doesn't know what he wants, and may never know what he wants... may not know what he's got until it's gone. In any case, I'm so confused. I should ask him, but I figure he doesn't know what he wants at this very moment...so I'll give him time and then see where we stand. Does that sound like a good way to go about it?Thank you!!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 August 2009): He's got cold feet because there have been issues in the past which have left you both arguing. This is logical and any normal person would be reacting like him. Is there likely to be a change? He cares that you, him and others are happy. Men are practical creatures and they communicate differently. You could ask him why he thought things didn't quite work out before.
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