A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Ok, so my boyfriend (6 months dating) is talking about us moving out together in the near future. Us buying a home is a huge deal and commitment!! All this talk gets me ancy. But what about a ring on this finger?? I haven't told him yet, but I'm not moving in without assurance that we're headed down the right path. I think that once we move in time will pass and he will no longer think marriage is a big deal. Well I want to get married (in general) and hopefully start a family. How can I bring this up without making it seem like I'm pressuring him into marriage?Long story short: I don't want to give the living together a try and see how it goes. I want the real deal.. Commitment!Also, we're not planning on moving in right away.. We still have to wait quite a few more months. So, I'm guessing after the year we'll really start the search! Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (15 August 2009):
 Well, you know what you want. Share your dreams with him. Be realistic a house and a big wedding and a huge ring may be more than a young couple can afford all at once. q1605 is right that it is the commitment that you two have for each other that is the important part. On the other hand I agree with you, I wouldn't sign on a mortgage unless he is willing to sign a wedding license. I also think that the fact that he is talking houses with you, (and not just moving in) is a good sign of his intentions. He may just not have arranged a properly romantic occasion to pop the question. I know that I certainly wanted some guidance on the ring part so that hint wold be in good taste in my opinion.
FA
A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (14 August 2009):
Just tell him, you don't think it's a good idea to move in with a guy before marriage.
Then you can compromise on maybe moving in after engagement if a wedding is in the planning stages.
Just tell him now so it's not a big deal, but he knows it won't happen.
As for when he's going to propose, you'll have to play the old game of taking him past jewellery shops and sighing deeply at wedding dress shops.
Good Luck!! xx
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